10 Most WTF?! Moments on Orange is the New Black

In just two seasons, Orange is the New Black has proved there's pretty much nowhere it won't go. Actually, as early as its pilot episode OITNB demonstrated just how downright crazy the ride we were in for was about to become. Sure, there are epic love triangles and a seemingly endless amount of wild sex scenes, but so much of this show's epic tension comes from the no-holds-barred attitudes these characters live by. We love livin' la vida Litchfield, and we can't wait to see where season 3 takes us next. Although we'd be totally be fine if we never encountered another 'tampon sandwich' again, which brings us to the our first (and maybe grossest) WTF moment...

(Note: proceed with caution. Spoilers lurk ahead.) 

10. Red finds a colorful and creative way to starve Piper

After insulting Red's cooking upon arriving at Litchfield for the first time, Piper finds herself in a rather uncomfortable positon. Not only does Red starve her out, but she makes her intentions extra crystal clear by sending Piper a blood-soaked tampon in a muffin during breakfast. Not exactly the balanced way to start your day. Piper might have been off to a terrible start at Litchfield, but we knew from that moment on that this show would always keep us on our toes in the best (albeit occasionally completely unappetizing) way. 

(RELATED: OITNB's Piper/Alex/Stella Love Triangle Is Driving Us WILD)

9. Crazy Eyes is well...pretty crazy

Don't get us wrong, Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren is so much more than her nickname suggests. She's passionate, emotional, and layered, and we've pretty much fallen in love with all of her quirks at this point. However, she is also undeniably responsible for some of OITNB's most 'WTF' moments. "I threw my pie for you," Suzanne's declaration of support for Piper after assaulting Alex with her dessert, has become one of OITNB's most classic quotes. Unfortunately, Piper and Suzanne were not meant to last a lifetime together (or even a couple seconds) and Suzanne dealt with Piper's rejection by peeing on her floor. Definitely not a role model moment. 

8. The entire chicken situation

In episode 5 of season 1, we learn that spotting a chicken is a really big deal when you’re in prison. Such a big deal, in fact, that Piper’s fateful encounter sparks a prisoner-wide manhunt for the feathered friend, rumored to be a mystical carrier of drugs, street cred, and high-quality protein. Things get a little ridiculous, and when Piper drops the ball on an important business call to chase the animal, it’s a pretty clear indication that she is drinking the prison life Kool Aid and losing touch with the outside world. Hey, if we were eating Litchfield’s moldy mystery meat every day (no offense, Red), we’d probably do the same thing.

(RELATED: All 17 OITNB Sex Scenes - Ranked)

Sure, Red might be a little rough around the edges (remember when she almost starved Piper to death for insulting her cooking?), but she’s all cuddles and sunshine compared to vicious newcomer Vee. The Cold War between Red and Vee takes a hard-hitting turn – literally – when Red is brutally and unexpectedly  beaten in the head with a lock inside a sock, also known as a “slock,” also known as the most terrifying makeshift weapon you can imagine. The cliffhanger ending is so severely distressing that you’ll thank the Netflix gods you can binge the next episode and make sure our fiery Russian badass survives the siege.   

6. Big Boo/Little Boo

Like Crazy Eyes, Big Boo is another character who seems to have many of the show's most unusual plots orbiting around her. For instance, let us take a moment to recall Little Boo, Boo's service dog who she decided to part with after a feeding session got a little, well, intimate. Thankfully, we didn't get many more details on that, and this is one instance where we were happy not to. We love the specificity of OITNB, but some things might be truly better left unsaid. We did, however, find out exactly what Big Boo was doing with the screwdriver that went missing in back in episode 4 of season one. For that one, though, she does get points for creativity. 

5. Piper lets loose on Pennsatucky

Piper has understandably had enough of Pennsatucky’s bullshit by the end of season one, and while no one can blame her for defending herself against the halo-clad, Bible-thumping meth head, this is a pretty scary WTF moment. As the season ended with Piper raging violently against her would-be attacker, we were left with a yearlong cliffhanger – how will Piper get away with this? Is Pennsatucky dead? Will she get new, un-nasty teeth? All was revealed at the premiere of season 2, but this was a damn crazy way to wrap up a stellar first season.

4.  Taystee returns to Litchfield

Oh Taystee, we were really pulling for a positive post-Litchfield life for you. When Taystee bid goodbye to her inmate pals (most importantly, Poussey) upon her release, we knew we'd have a hard time getting over her absence. When she returned, we were almost sad to see she'd been arrested yet again, even if it was on purpose. On the bright side, season two gave us a much needed in-depth look into her awesomely detailed character, and we got so much more Taystee/Poussey love to look forward to (and drama that hurt our hearts). We also had to face a harsh reality that often comes with the difficult rehabilitation process of prisoners back into society, which makes for a 'WTF' moment we definitely wish there was no need to explore. Ultimately, this moment hit a ton of chords, all while making an important statement. 

3. Larry backstabs Piper on air

Anyone on the fence about Larry's suckiness has clearly not yet seen this painful 'WTF' moment in season one. Not only does he self-servingly use Piper's imprisonment to his advantage, but he vindictively spills some sensitive information on air while Piper and dozens of her fellow inmates listen live. He may be (rightfully) suspicious of Piper and Alex's affair, but when he mocks Crazy Eyes and makes her cry alone in her prison bed at night, he's officially gone too far. You're dead to us, Larry. She threw her pie for your fiancee, the least you can do is show a little respect.

2. That devastating Christopher reveal

Dammit Morello, we thought you were one of the normal ones! As season two reveals more history about our beloved inmates, we learn that the charming (though sometimes unpleasantly racist) Lorna Morello has some serious skeletons in her closet. Not only that, but she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson when she escapes from prison, breaks into Christopher’s house, takes a bath wearing another woman’s wedding veil, and steals a helpless teddy bear. By the end of the disturbing and heartbreaking episode, we learn that Morello’s romanticized “fiance” Christopher is just a frustrated and innocent man victimized by her merciless and delusional stalking. It’s hard to look at her the same way after this pitiful reveal, but maybe she’ll redeem herself in season three.

1. Rosa crushes Vee

In an epic conclusion to OITNB’s action-packed second season, the long-suffering Rosa is liberated, and villainous Vee gets her overdue comeuppance in a final scene that is as gratifying as it is shocking. There is truly no gleeful feeling of schadenfreude comparable to seeing Vee, a completely unforgivable, malicious, and dangerous character at this point, get intentionally plowed down as part of Rosa’s empowering escape. We’ll find out this Friday if Vee survived to wreak more havoc at Litchfield, but the moral of the story is clearly that revenge is sweet and whaling on your friends with a slock is irredeemably rude.