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Frozen Will Make Your Daughter a Lesbian, Says Radio Host Friendly with 3 Republican Candidates
As far as we know, Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, and Mike Huckabee have not commented on the number of toaster oven the makers of Frozen can claim for having recruited new lesbians.
Conservative radio talk show host Pastor Kevin Swanson has been proselytizing about the company that is destroying America: Disney.
“If I was the Devil,” he said, “what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?... I would buy Disney."
How is Disney causing so much damage, you ask? Why, through gayness, of course. According to Swanson, Disney is "one of the most pro-homosexual organizations in the country.”
At the top of his list of overwhelming evidence is the movie Frozen. Apparently, the smash hit of 2013 contains hidden messaging that indoctrinates little girls into becoming lesbians.
While he didn’t give specifics, he did talk at length about how terrible it is that parents took their kids to see a movie without knowing they would turn into Evil Gays afterward.
“I wonder if people are thinking: ‘You know I think this cute little movie is going to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian or treat homosexuality or bestiality in a light sort of way.’ I wonder if the average parent going to see Frozen is thinking that way. I wonder if they are just walking in and saying, “Yeah, let’s get my five-year-old and seven-year-old indoctrinated early.” You know they’re not, I think for the most part they’re oblivious. Maybe they do pick up on pieces of it but they just don’t get up and walk out.”
You are probably wondering why the hell you should care about what some crazed pastor is raving about on his radio show. As it turns out, Pastor Kevin Swanson will be hosting a National Religious Liberties Conference next week in Iowa. Three presidential candidates will be speaking: Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, and Mike Huckabee.
Their appearance as feature speakers is an indication that they generally stand by the ludicrous statements Swanson makes on his show. I think we, the American people, have a right to know if Ted Cruz, for example, thinks watching Frozen will turn our daughters into big ol’ lesbians.
Although with gay rights gaining more and more support each passing month, our advice to the GOP is to just “let it go.”
