Orphan Black Recap: Here Slumps the Bride

It’s a rough week for everyone on Orphan Black, and by rough week I mean probably the entire season. Felix is not loving the anti-glamorous life of living out of the back of a truck with Kira and Sarah. He’s also struggling to believe Mrs. S might not be on their side, not to mention keeping his shoes out of animal crap. But the team certainly still has some running left to do. Daniel, Rachel’s personality-less eyes and ears, finds the “safe house” where Mrs. S had killed the Prolethians. 

He hides, however, as Henrick and Mark get there first to do some damage control, aka burn the place to the ground. Daniel watches the smoke rise, then looks at a picture he keeps with him of Kira. Cue the credits!

Felix, Sarah, and Kira are on a mission to get food, but Sarah, afraid of being tracked, threw the credit cards out the car window. Kira (becoming quite the mini grifter herself these days) adorably fakes stealing so Felix can actually steal while the cashier is distracted. Sarah scolds Kira in front of the cashier and pays in change for what she took while Felix escapes, though not entirely unnoticed.

Detectives Angie and Bell discuss the disappearance of Helena at the hospital. Bell insists Angie let it go, but she tells him that buy demanding these she’s letting down both her and Beth by apparently giving up. To be continued...
Alison (who we know has now realized Donnie’s her monitor) vaccuums him awake then demands to know why he’s not at work. He explains his boss is out of town and that he’s worried about Alison lately. With the big dress rehearsal coming up and Aynsley’s death, he knows she’s been stressed. He offers to “relax” her, but her response is, “I just showered.” No dice, monitor man.

While Leekie’s away, the scientists will play! Leekie’s out of the office, so Delphine takes Cosima on a field trip (Cosima’s Dr. Leekie’s impersonation is a winner). Delphine shows Cosima a video diary of Jennifer, a swim coach and the first clone to experience symptoms of the mysterious clone disease. Jennifer died three days ago, and they have hours of tapes documenting her demise.

Back at Prolethian-ville, Mark and Grace, Henrick's cute teen Prolethian daughter, admire/fear Helena from afar. Helena tries to interrogate Grace about why she's there while also challenging her mouth with how much food it can intake. Grace insists it’s because her father wanted Helena to join the family. Helena says she’s already got a family, her twin seestra. Helena also learns that her former guardian of sorts is probably dead, but that just helps her enjoy her chicken leg even more.

Deciding they need shelter and a bed for Kira, Sarah leads her family to an seemingly abandoned cabin.  They settle in, and Sarah promises nothing bad is going to happen to Kira, which is pretty much already a lie. Just moments away cops are checking out the car Sarah and the gang abandoned. Even worse, that night the cabin is infiltrated, by, well, the actual owner of the cabin Cal, a pleasantly scruffy young man she stole ten grand and a car from years ago. He tries to throw them out, but with perfect timing Kira enters, and on a weirdly intuitive whim asks Cal if he’s her dad. Silence.

When we come back from the well-timed commercial break, Cal’s just as confused as we are, but Sarah is actually pretty sure that Kira’s his child. She tells him they’ll just pack up and get out of his life immediately, and he makes a jab about that being what she’s good at. 

But put the Cal/Sarah drama aside, there is much more important stuff going on, like the final dress rehearsal of Blood Ties, the beautifully absurd Alison-starring community theater musical. 

Alison is naturally taking this musical that's apparently about a woman’s friend dying pretty seriously and is on 100% Alison edge. In the parking lot, Alison runs into an undercover Angie, who asks to borrow Alison’s phone. Alison’s suspicious of this new and too-peppy soccer mom, and hurries away quickly.

Meanwhile, Kira and Sarah have a very serious conversation about Sarah’s upbringing and Kira’s conception. Sarah bursts into tears as she explains she used to really like Cal and seems to now want him to be in Kira’s life. Kira’s cool with it since, she ‘likes his beard.’ Felix goes exploring around Cal’s property and confronts him about his identity. Cal explains he used to make drone pollinator for areas where bee-populations crashed, but his technology was sold to the military and now his designs are used to make drones. He doesn't wany any part of it, and now seems even more cuddly and likeable.

Cosima sits down for a very depressing marathon of Jennifer videos that end in Jennifer, very ill, throwing up in a hospital bed. She died never knowing she was a clone or that her boyfriend was her monitor. Cosima mentions she sometimes forgets Delphine’s her monitor. Delphine reminds her that it’s because of that she has access to much more information, and that they’re ‘telling her everything now.’ Delphine leaves, and Cosima struggles with the reality of her disease and situation as Jennifer candidly tells the camera, “I’m going to die here.”

Felix yells at Sarah over never telling him who Kira’s father was after years of him trying to work it out. Sarah tries to convince him that Cal is a good man, and even better, he's disconnected from the entire clone situation. Felix settles, then says that Sarah and Kira can stay but he’s got other stuff going on, first and foremost Alison’s musical. He nearly bursts into tears as he leaves, mumbling at his most vulnerable, “There’s no place for me here.

On the most disturbing science-date ever, Delphine takes Cosima to examine Jennifer’s dead body. Cosima seems clearly disturbed dissecting someone who looks just like her, but gets over it for the sake of medical revelations. It seems there were growths in Jennifer's uterus, potentially causing  infertility. The science magic is interrupted by a phone call from Alison, who tells Cosima she believes Angie is another monitor trying to spy on her and that Cosima definitely can’t trust Delphine.

Poor Alison is again approached by Angie, who is still keeping up the image of a preppy suburbanite. Alison snaps at her about knowing what she’s up to (meaning monitor), but Angie takes it in the way that makes sense (undercover detective), and admits she’s a police officer. She tries to interrogate Alison about Beth and Sarah, but Alison’s got more important things on her mind (Blood Ties is a really big deal, guys).

After Felix hitch hikes into the distance, it’s just Sarah, Kira, and Cal in the cabin. Sarah and her former beau discuss their formerly super-rocky relationship. Apparently years ago Sarah intended to con him out of everything he was worth, but fell for him instead and couldn’t go through with her whole plan. Just then, the local police officer shows up to ask Cal if he knows about the theft at the gas station or the abandoned car. Cal of course covers for his newfound family and sends the police officer on his way. Sarah feels guilty about putting Cal in a dangerous situation and tries to leave immediately. Cal's softened up though and wants Sarah to stay. Actually, he wants a lot more than that. Cheers to Sarah for finally having some time for recreation!

Okay, officially nothing else matters because it’s opening night of Blood Ties. The group warms up and prepares to take the stage. They do a quick circle-up dedication to Aynsley that drives Alison to a pre-show drug and alcohol cocktail. Turns out that’s not a great recipe for showtime, because Alison is a total mess during her completely creepily accurate community musical. (What the hell is this show? It’s the best thing ever.) Unfortunately, we don’t get to see much of it because Alison falls off the stage while vengefully/drunkenly singing at Donnie.

The next morning, Sarah wakes up happily next to Cal. Looks like their joy is going to be short-lived, because Daniel, who’s been tracking them this entire time, learns their potential whereabouts from the gas station attendant they robbed. However, on his way to try and track them down, he’s stopped by the local police officer who informs him that Sarah and Kira would be in custody if they were still around. Daniel drives off, but one can only assume not for long.
Bell’s on his own tracking mission and spies on the Prolethians. In their little village, Hank sits  Gracie (his first born) down to tell her he knows about her doubts over Helena, but he believes Helena needs to be a part of their family. Though the extent he's talking about is as of yet unclear...
Sarah, Cal, and Kira are the picture perfect family as they finish up a card game. And of course, because they’re happy, you know when Kira asks to go off alone to feed the chickens that something’s going to go terribly wrong. Naturally, Kira gets kidnapped by Daniel, but Sarah manages to disarm him and ends up trading herself out for her daughter, who runs to Cal for protection. 

Daniel shoots the kindly neighborhood police officer dead, then tries to get Cal to give Kira back by holding a gun to Sarah, but Sarah tells him to take her instead of Kira. He takes her up on that and forces her into his car. But wait; as they’re driving along and Daniel tries to grill Sarah about Project Leda, an 18 wheeler plows right into Daniel’s side of the car. As I said, it's arough week for everyone.
Ah, but one more thing before we go: worst wedding ever, anybody?