10 Reasons We Couldn't Stop Watching Lesbians on TV in 2013!

TV is widely considered to be in its Rennaissance, and that is no more evident than in the number of lesbian and bisexual characters on television in 2013. From smart, sexy women in prison (If the Emmys considers Netflix TV then so do we) to a science nerd clone and a tried-and-true lady doc couple, female queer characters on television were water cooler convo along with fare like the Breaking Bad finale and Mad Men. 

Here are the top 10 reasons we couldn't tear ourselves from small screens everywhere! 

10) Two Women and an Undead Baby

A sneaky gem of a show this year was eight-part French series The Returned (or Les Revenants if you want to sound all fancy), an eerie show that somehow made necrophilia less weird.  Lesbian couple Julie (Celine Sallette) and Laure's (Alix Poisson) relationship is first revealed in a flashback to happier times, more specifically adorable make out times with Batman and Catwoman costumes.  Sadly the relationship ended, as so many do, not with a bang but a squish after Julie's near-fatal stabbing and a little mild cannibalism.  The break up left the pair with only animosity when we meet them years later.  Or did it?  Hint: it did not.  There is also enough sexual tension to bake a baguette. And what better to bring them back together than Julie taking in an undead child she found wandering?  So many questions were left unanswered this year that I'm hoping for some hard core undead explaining in the upcoming second season along with more Julie and Laure (costumes optional).  If reading television isn't really your speed there's also an American version coming from another master of unresolved plot points, Lost's Carlton Cuse.

9) The Walking Dead gets a lesbian

I was worried that only heterosexuals survived AMC's zombie apocalypse until newcomer Tara (Alanna Masterson) graced our screens.  In a world where unplanned pregnancies can devastate beyond reason (“terminal Caesarean section” should NOT be part of my television vernacular) it's surprising straight people still rule over this depressing dystopia. While Tara's 'ship this season was as short-lived as a kid that looks at Carl sideways (RIP Alisha) I live in hope that some lucky lady will stave off the hunger for human flesh long enough for our girl to find some loving.  

8) Emily Fields Forever 

To be perfectly honest, I find Pretty Little Liars to be one of the most labyrinthine shows on television. Unless I decided to dedicate my life to remembering every detail that ever happened, from week to week my memory fades, and don't even get me started on from season to season. That's not to say I don't love PLLand watch it near religiously. Everyone's gorgeous and no one ever wears the same outfit twice and the dead are rising every which way. But most importantly, with the return of (SPOILERS!) the previously presumed dead and Emily's former crush Ali, it looks like it could be trouble in paradise for Paily fans (and by paradise I mean the aggressive peril these girls always seem to be in). Will Emily's feelings for Ali resurface and ruin her already tumultuous relationship? Will someone get held hostage by a creepy masked figure? Will Bianca Lawson's Maya return in a flashback and look somehow younger than she did last time? All the answers to these questions better be yes, because it's almost January and we're way overdue for some pretty little drama.

7)  Kinkier Boots 

Annaleigh Ashford's lesbian prostitute Betty DiMello from Masters of Sex is upped to series regular! But of course! After stealing the Broadway show that is Kinky Boots, Annleigh has now stolen Showtime. Bad news: series regularism means Annaleigh will no longer be starring in the Cyndi Lauper-fied Tony Award-winning mega-hit. Good news: she departs in March, so that gives all you New Yorkers/enthusiastic travelers/me plenty of time to go see her in action! (A different kind of action than Betty DiMello, mind you...). A member of the original cast of Legally Blonde the Musical as well as a seasoned Glinda in Wicked on Broadway and in Chicago, the theater scene will be short a rockstar for a while, but TV is lucky to have her.

6) Cophine 

I know, I know, every time a list comes out I take yet another opportunity to rave about Tatiana Maslany, but it would be television sacrilege not to. And come on, this is a list about lesbians! If you weren't rooting for Cosima and Delphine to get it on, you weren't watching Orphan Black. Sexy scientists torn apart by betrayal and sexual confusion yet still managing to pull through, only to face the threat of a genetic clone mutation disease is the stuff that season 2 anticipation is made of. Season 2 comes back April 19th and- I'm just warning you OBshowrunners- if anything happens to Cosima I will fly to Canada personally to protest. To hold you off until April, Clone Club, tune in to the Golden Globes on January 12th to (fingers crossed) watch Tatiana pick up the prize for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama. Not quite the "Best Actress in All Things Ever" award I was hoping for, but acceptable for now. 

5) Bomb Girl gets Lost 

Remember that Betty McRae / Dr Lauren Lewis crossover fanfic you wrote last summer?  The team behind Lost Girl clearly did because this season they brought together my two favorite Canadian TV lesbians for the first and hottest sex scene of the season (so far). Bomb Girls bombshell Ali Liebert guest starred as waitress Crystal who pursued Zoie Palmer's doctor on-the-lam.  Just because you're running from supernatural creatures bent on your demise doesn't mean you shouldn't get some right? With their fling and the deeply upsetting wig that came along with it seemingly in the past Lauren is embracing her dark side and playing the field.  Now that she's briefly re-kindled things with titular succubus Bo and shared a steamy kiss with dark fae leader Evony I can't help but wonder which other Canadian goddesses might find themselves on Dr Lauren's dance card.  This is my way of saying Tatiana Maslany belongs on all the shows.  Again.

4) R.I.P Bomb Girls 

If you've never watched Bomb Girls, get ye to Netflix because the only bad thing about this show is it got cancelled after 2 seasons. Yes, there will be a movie, but I miss my weekly dose of gorgeous World War II-era Canadian bomb factory workers (and who wouldn't, really?). More than anything, I miss rooting hopelessly for Kate (Charlotte Hegele) to finally stop being so heterosexual and see that Betty (Ali Liebert) should be the actual love of her life forever. When we left off, Betty's lesbianism had been used against her in a murder trial, she and Kate cuddled on a bed and talked about how much they love each other, and then, um, Betty took the fall for the murder of Kate's dad and went to jail in her place. And then the show just ended because the world of TV is a cruel place. I imagine the movie will bring Betty and Kate back together, if not romantically than as the most adorable best friends who go on cute double dates and share ice cream cones and take long strolls in scenic parks. I also imagine there's an alternative where everything continues to be incredibly depressing, but I'll wait for the movie to deal with that one.

3) Calzona 

Interns, amputations and underwear dances: Because really, what list of lesbian television moments would be complete without Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Arizona (Jessica Capshaw)?  Certainly not this one! Television's most long-suffering wives are due a break from the tragedy but because Shonda Rhimes lives to tear our hearts out and tap dance all over them it won't happen in this lifetime. After last season's LegGate (nobody is calling it that but me), Grey's Anatomy's tenth season has brought Arizona's infidelity into the bright hospital lights, the couple separated, rebounded and just for good measure, Callie was sued for a post-surgical infection that led to a double leg-ectomy.  Classic Callie.  When we left the pair for the mid-season break they had reconciled with their physical relations in 'ship shape but were emotionally ORs apart while Arizona's interim intern, lovestruck Leah was caught in the crossfire.  I sincerely hope things start to look up in 2014 and I am grateful for this show's continued commitment to showing a lesbian couple with real issues irrelevant to their sexuality.  But seriously, could we just have a few moments of joy? I'm willing to bargain!  

2) Love Behind Bars 

Girl-on-girl-in-prison may be the most overplayed lesbian trope there is and yet Jenji Kohan has provided one of the sweetest, most heart-breaking relationships of the year in Orange is the New Black.  My new favorite doomed couple are Piper (Taylor Schilling) and Alex (Laura Prepon), former lovers reunited in prison. At the beginning of the Netflix Original binge-fest Piper was resolutely devoted to bland fiancé Larry (Jason Biggs) as she prepared to do time for running drugs during her relationship with Alex.  I never knew Donna Pinciotti could bring so many feels until her uber-tough drug maven fell apart at the seams over Piper's indecision over their (super hot) reconciliation. Thanks for the life ruining guys.  If anyone needs me I'll be in the fetal position manically chanting “I heart you” until next season.

1) Everything About The Fosters

I could go on forever about The Fosters (and I will, when Season 2 starts on January 13th), but I'll leave it at this; a mainstream, family-oriented channel features a popular weekly program starring lesbian moms. Positive representations of lesbian moms leading a multi-racial foster family and facing real-life social and political issues. Yes, The Fosters can get a bit (to a lot) cliche and preachy, but it's still such an important program and performed so well by the entire cast, especially said moms played by Sherri Saum and Teri Polo. My favorite thing about The Fosters;yes, Lena and Steph are a loving couple, but they also have their fair share of struggles and disagreements. This isn't a show that's just here to say "Look, lesbians are normal and lovely!" This is a show saying, "Look, lesbians are kinda just like everyone else. Let's stop making a big deal." I wish this show had been on TV when I was a kid, but I am so, almost tear-inducingly glad it's here now.