What is cruising and how do I practice it safely?

You may or may not know about the history of flagging, which is a cue that gay men give to other gay men about their sexual preferences based on whatever handkerchief hangs out of their back pocket. Regardless of your knowledge about flagging, we're here to talk about the larger aspect of what flagging is involved in: Cruising.

You may know about cruising, or you may not know how to do it (or how to do it correctly.) PRIDE had a chance to sit down with the team from Sniffies, the website that has revolutionized the world of cruising and made it much easier to access for people who want to remain discrete.

They recently launched a podcast series called Sniffies Cruising Confessions that takes a deep dive into the world of cruising, and the staff took some time to talk to us about cruising history, misconceptions, and tips on how to make the most of your cruising experience.

What, exactly, is the true definition of cruising?

While there isn’t a hard and fast definition of cruising, it basically boils down to two people who “look at each other and know that they’re going to have sex, and then have sex,” says Leo Herrera, a guest from Cruising Confessions.

The Sniffies Team adds that cruising doesn’t have to always revolve around sex, but is rather about the act of looking for a connection of any kind.

“For some people, that can mean sex, while others might think of it as a moment of some kind of intimacy,” they said. “You can cruise a steam room just as easily as you can cruise a dance floor or a house party — cruising is in the eye of the beholder.”

How did cruising begin? When did it rise in popularity?

It should come as no shock that cruising has really been around since the dawn of queer people. However, due to the frequency in which queerness is erased from history, it’s harder to pinpoint the exact time cruising started, and it’s even harder to track down where, exactly it started.

That said, records indicate that cruising may have been in effect in England since at least the 1600s, where it took place in parks or in public toilets later on when those became more available.

Over in the U.S., the Sniffies Team says that “cruising took off in the early 20th century when cities began to develop and grow, though the advent of the HIV/AIDS epidemic made cruising dangerous for queer people, and it became less popular in the '80s and '90s.”

Now, of course, Sniffies is one of the prime movers in promoting cruising and has made it more popular than ever due to its ease of access. The broad connection allows Sniffies to help cruisers worldwide “connect, experiment, and explore the most authentic version of their sexuality.”

What misconceptions do people have about cruising?

Any topic someone doesn’t understand is bound to lead to some misconceptions, especially because people tend to ignore a simple Google search to see if their thoughts are actually true.

One misconception that may be a little more shocking is just how popular cruising actually is. Anyone who’s ever opened the Sniffies app knows there’s a number of profiles immediately available, often more than other apps. Since everyone is under the radar, the ease of access and the ability to keep your identity to yourself has made cruising more popular than we realized.

Besides that, the Sniffies Team says the biggest misconception they run into is people thinking they “don’t know how to cruise.”

“Cruising developed as a kind of non-verbal communication for queer people because, for so long, it’s been dangerous to share our desires out loud, so the language of cruising is largely instinctual,” they say. “Chances are, most people already have a handle on it. If you’ve ever caught yourself staring at a cute guy on the subway, letting your imagination run amok, congratulations, you’ve cruised someone. If you’ve ever felt someone’s eyes trying to catch your gaze in a locker room, you’ve been cruised. It really is that simple.”

How can people take care of their sexual health when they cruise?

A big hesitancy people may have around cruising comes down to sexual health. Anonymous and random sex tends to lead to a higher rate of STI transmission, of which the Sniffies Team reminds us that no cruiser is safe from completely.

That said, there are always strategies that help reduce the risk of catching one, just the same as in any other sexual encounter. Some cruisers turn to PrEP, others turn to DoxyPEP. In the world of unprotected sex, there are also plenty of people who still use condoms for protection. Sniffies has also provided an in-depth guide of resources for people curious about their sexual health and wellness, as well as communication and addiction services.

How else can I stay safe?

The safety of your cruising experience happens before you even leave your house to go hook up.

“Make sure you’re familiar with the area(s) you’ll be cruising and how you’ll get back home afterward,” say the Sniffies Team. “Let someone know where you’ll be cruising and how long you expect to be there — especially if you’re unfamiliar with the area.”

You should also travel as light as possible and leave any valuables or cash behind. Your phone, wallet, and keys should be close but secure, and a fanny pack is also always an option for you to store your belongings.

Once you’re in the wild, the safety of your cruise is all about how much attention you pay to your surroundings. More importantly, pay attention to the way you feel during your interactions with any other cruiser.

“If that feeling of fear outweighs excitement, it’s time to disengage,” they say. “Pay attention to how other cruisers are responding to you. Sometimes cruising is fast and furious, and sometimes it’s a slow burn — if other cruisers aren’t into it, don’t force anything to happen.”

I've never cruised before, what can I do?

Just like anything else you try for the first time, take it slow while you ease yourself in and test the waters. The Sniffies Team also recommends you “trust your instincts and check in with yourself to ensure the experience still feels exciting and hot. It’s totally okay to try things at your own pace — or go hog wild your first time if that’s what feels right.”

In terms of the mechanics of how it’s done, remember that you’re probably already practicing cruising without even realizing it. That said, eye contact is usually the most important part.

“You’ll know they’re into you if they catch your eye and maintain eye contact for a bit longer than usual,” they say. “Generally, three seconds of uninterrupted eye contact is about as strong a signal as you can receive. Getting cruised might look different based on your environment, too. In a sauna or a steam room, for instance, a guy might perform a suspicious amount of towel adjusting and rearranging paired with a few sly glances to signal he’s looking for something more.”

At the end of the day, play everything by ear, do what feels right, and remember that cruisers have figured this language out for centuries. With a little practice, it shouldn’t be hard for you to learn, either.