What are pronouns and how do they impact our mental health?

What are pronouns?

Pronouns are words used in place of nouns to refer to someone without repeating their name. They help us avoid redundancy, but they also serve as a key aspect of affirming an individual’s gender identity. Common pronouns include he/him, she/her, and they/them. The use of they/them is common among people who identify as more nonbinary, or outside of the restrictions of the gender roles of male or female.

It is crucial not to assume someone’s pronouns. A person’s pronouns do not necessarily align with their appearance or the gender assigned to them at birth. By asking for pronouns and introducing yourself with your own, you demonstrate respect for diverse gender identities and contribute to creating an inclusive space.

Why are pronouns important?

Respecting someone’s pronouns is an essential part of affirming their identity. It goes beyond mere politeness — it directly impacts the mental health and well-being of individuals who may be marginalized or misunderstood.

Using correct pronouns is not about enforcing an ideology; rather, it is a way to show empathy and respect. It is about fostering a safe and supportive environment where everyone feels seen and valued. Introducing yourself with your pronouns also signals that you are committed to inclusive language and respect for diverse identities.

How do neopronouns fit into the mix?

In addition to the pronouns he, she, and they, there are neopronouns, which are an alternative for those whose gender identities do not align with traditional categories.

Examples of commonly used neopronouns include:

• Ze/Zim/Zer: Ze went to the store. I spoke to zim. That book is zer.
• Xe/Xem/Xyr: Xe is a talented artist. I support xem. That artwork is xyr.
• Ey/Em/Eir: Ey is joining us for lunch. I called em earlier. That is eir jacket.
• Fae/Faer/Faers: Fae loves reading. I spent time with faer. Those are faers' books.

Neopronouns may initially feel unfamiliar, but they’re part of a growing expansion within the use of pronouns, and using them is an important part of creating a more inclusive community. The use of neopronouns allows the individual to better reflect their identity. By using them correctly, you validate the individuals' gender identities and help foster a supportive and inclusive environment.

The Trevor Project's role

The Trevor Project is a leading organization focused on supporting the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ youth. They provide crisis intervention services, including phone, text, and chat support, as well as resources and public training initiatives aimed at increasing awareness and inclusivity.

In honor of this year’s International Pronouns Day, their latest resource, “Understanding Gender Identities and Pronouns,” provides an in-depth examination of the complexities of gender identity and the importance of using correct pronouns.

The guide offers valuable insights into creating affirming spaces for transgender and nonbinary individuals. It emphasizes the importance of avoiding assumptions and taking the time to learn and respect each person’s identity. It's an excellent starting point for individuals and organizations aiming to be proactive allies by promoting inclusive language practices.

Recent research from The Trevor Project also found that transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide less when they reported feeling that their pronouns were respected.

As Miller puts it, “On this year's International Pronouns Day, let's do our best to drown out the misinformation and anti-transgender rhetoric, and commit to spreading awareness of the fact that using the pronouns young people ask us to use can be a life-saving act.”

How to be a pronoun ally

Using correct pronouns may seem like a small gesture, but it has a profound impact on others. Here are some ways you can actively support International Pronouns Day and foster inclusivity:

1. Introduce yourself with your pronouns: By introducing yourself with your name and pronouns, you signal that you respect others' pronouns and create an atmosphere that encourages others to do the same.
2. Respect pronoun preferences: Make an effort to use the pronouns people share with you. If you make a mistake, apologize briefly, correct it, and continue without drawing attention to yourself.
3. Educate yourself: Take the time to learn about different pronouns, including neopronouns, and practice using them. Resources like The Trevor Project's guide are invaluable for building your understanding. The more familiar you become with these concepts, the easier it will be to respect others’ identities.
4. Counteract misinformation: Unfortunately, misconceptions about gender identity and pronouns still persist. Challenge anti-trans rhetoric when you encounter it and work to amplify accurate and inclusive information. By correcting misinformation, you help create an environment where all individuals feel safe to express their authentic selves.

It always comes back to respect

International Pronouns Day is about more than just pronouns — it is about respecting and affirming people's identities in a society where many individuals face significant challenges simply for being themselves. This is a day and age marred by fear and warmongering, and it’s a scary place to try and figure out who you are.

The simple use of learning about pronouns, including the growing popularity of neopronouns, is a way to show commitment and respect toward further inclusion, even within the queer community. By honoring each other, we can contribute to the well-being of those in our communities who need support the most.