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TikToker claps back after harsh criticism of his personal 'Grindr Wrapped' and we're cheering
He may have slept with 84 men in 2024, but learned a lot about himself in the process.
After going viral for his putting his own personal "Grindr Wrapped" on TikTok, Joshua Fox (@jshfx) has made a follow-up video explaining how he collects his data and defending his hookup habits after receiving harsh criticism.
In the video, the TikToker posts a comically long list of all of the men he’s ever hooked up with on Grindr, including his ex-husband who he met on the app.
“It all starts with this list,” Fox explains. “Basically, every time I meet someone I put in a little note in my phone of like the name and location and that, and then when I get home, I go to my laptop, then I just update this spreadsheet.”
He said that he charts all of his Grindr hookups — he slept with 84 men in 2024 — but doesn’t always get the men’s names so instead he uses descriptors like “Muscley Japanese,” “Sweet Jake,” “Tacky & Drunk,” and “Older Random.” His hookups really picked up speed after his husband left him three years ago and he started seeking outside validation.
@jshfx Replying to @toadd The list of men ive met up with… #grindr #gay #gayculture
Fox explained that the most important tab in his chart is the emotion he was feeling at the time of a hookup. “A lot of the time I’m meeting them up because I’m depressed, and when I’m at my worst I meet multiple people in one day.”
After meeting up with six men in one day his therapist said that he should start journaling and “asking myself why am I doing this?”
While Fox has received harsh comments from viewers, charting his hookups has helped him understand his motivations more and he’s proud of how much he’s grown.
“There’s been a lot of judgment in the comments from people saying I’m an embarrassment to the gay community and I should be ashamed of myself, but I’m not,” he said. “I’m ashamed of how long it took me to realize why I was stuck in this kind of destructive cycle. I was seeking validation from all of these random men, but I’m also proud that I’m being so open about this because nobody is and so many other gay men are stuck in this same cycle, but no one talks about it so that’s why I’m doing these videos.”
Fox also writes notes after each hookup, explaining that there was a day when he didn’t finish. There were also notes about the men he slept with like, “Avoid gym for a while,” “Height doesn’t equal hung,” “Inexperienced but sweet,” and “Didn’t douche thoroughly” — all important information!
We’d all probably be horrified if our hookup app data was put out there for public combustion but Fox said it’s worth it if it helps people.
“That’s why I agreed to have my personal diaries turned into a book documenting the last couple of years because I know it will help people and it already is helping people. So maybe the people judging me, they should be the ones ashamed of themselves for being so closed-minded and not realizing that ‘hey, people have different struggles, people have different coping mechanisms for things, and f—k we’re not all perfect.”
Fox's book What You Into is currently available as an ebook on Amazon.
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
