A 90-year-old grandmother is winning the hearts of queer people across the internet after her story about a decade-spanning lavender marriage and her decision to finally come out as bisexual made waves on TikTok.
"My grandfather was a gay man who was starting to see success in Hollywood as an artist and graphic designer and my grandmother was a bisexual Colombian immigrant in nursing," Christian Owens wrote in a TikTok posted in November. "They met in West Hollywood and became best friends instantly so they knew that they had to protect each other at all costs."
It wasn't long before Elida and Don were married, eventually having two daughters.
According to People, the couple was honest with each other about their sexualities from the start. They came to an "arrangement" that allowed dating outside of the marriage, but Elida admits that despite having a "beautiful life together," "not being able to be our true selves made us feel like we were in a prison."
Still, they remained committed until Donald's death in 2021, at which point Elida came out to her family.
"It's never too late to love who you love, and there’s nothing wrong with loving who you love," Owens told People.
@faultywiring0709I am so truly blessed. #fyp #TikTokPartner #pridetiktok #lgbt #lavendermarriage #
Despite keeping up a public front for prying eyes in a different time, the picture Owens paints of her grandmother is one of a woman who was deeply involved in the LGBTQ+ community throughout her life in the ways she could be—attending Pride, helping during the AIDS crisis, and even participating in the Stonewall riots. And it sounds as if her grandfather was frequently right there at her side.
Owens' family's story has encouraged others to share their own family histories of lavender marriages and secrets made necessary by a society that wasn't ready to accept LGBTQ+ people.
"It pains me to know that some ppl didn't get to live their lives like they wanted to because of old standards," one viewer commented, "but at the same time, a lot of us wouldn't be here."
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