Viral
The Bible Has Been Rewritten With Rihanna as God and Drag Queens as Disciples, and People Are Pissed
"In the beginning Rihanna created the heavens and the earth."
cornbreadsays
September 17 2017 5:34 PM EST
May 26 2023 12:13 PM EST
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"In the beginning Rihanna created the heavens and the earth."
Just weeks after becoming the Mayor of Hell, Michigan and banning all heterosexuals from entering the town, comedian Elijah Daniel has now rewritten the holy bible for the gays.
\u201cim going to rewrite the entire bible but change it to be gayer just to piss straights off\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505509934
The EDV (Elijah Daniel Version) translation has a few updates from previous editions; Rihanna is God, she made Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve, and instead of wine, Jesus turns water into mimosas.
\u201coff to a great start\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505509934
The Holy Bible... but gayer is now available on Amazon in its entirety, and the reviews seem mostly positive so far.
\u201cIM CRYING AT YOUR GUYS' AMAZON REVIEWS THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505513073
\u201c@elijahdaniel this is my fave\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505514609
But while some are throwing back their heads in laughter over the updated bible, many others are pissed and don't appreciate the delicious irony of it all.
\u201cSide note if made a "satire" tweet saying hunt down gays I'd be witch hunted when it comes to jokes it's all ok or non of it is. https://t.co/CHhXJVKqeN\u201d— Chungus (@Chungus) 1505673855
\u201c@elijahdaniel this is not the way to do things lmao fighting hate w hate is distasteful but you do you boo\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505594273
Daniel is fending off the haters, and says that his satircial gay bible is for all the queer kids out there who were made miserable by the teachings of Christianity, including himself.
\u201cyou've made my gaybies feel unwelcome with your religion for ages and that's changing now bitch get used to it it's fag time baby\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505677669
Many LGBT people have already told Daniel that his bravery and humor helped them come out to their own familes and friends. One user wrote, "I told myself if u can publish the gay bible & not give a fuck abt criticism then I can come out to my friends today n I did!!! Thank you for giving me the confidence to do this, I've been terrified for a while now." Another posted, "I didn't come out to my parents bc I need a home but u made me feel happier abt my sexuality :')."
\u201cif me rewriting the bible & pissing y'all off makes just one lil closeted kid realize it's not that serious then fuck ya bitch keep it comin\u201d— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel) 1505677669
Who knew a gay bible could be so inpsiring? I know how I'm spending the rest of my day.
\u201cme after reading @elijahdaniel's gay bible\u201d— collin duddy (@collin duddy) 1505679287
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!