What Is 'Straight Fragility?' 'Real Housewives' Kick Off Conversation

The Real Housewives of Orange County are keeping it wild after an unfortunate gift to a teenager prompted a conversation about “straight fragility” — but what is “straight fragility?”

The whole thing kicked off when Heather Dubrow got upset with Noella Bergener’s giving her 17-year-old daughter, Max, a Pride-themed card game in honor of Max’s new memoir about being bisexual.

As it turns out, the game had some sexually explicit content and profanity, which Bergener, who is also bisexual, claims she didn’t know about before gifting it to the teen. But mama Dubrow was still angry, insisting that the other Housewife basically gave her daughter pornography.

The two got into it over the gift in the previous episode, but the conversation apparently wasn’t over.

“How dare I not know your straight fragility when I’m purchasing something?” Bergener asked during a group dinner, according to Page Six.

“My straight fragility?” Dubrow replied. “I have a couple of gay children. Don’t tell me that I have straight fragility.”

In this particular instance, it sounds as if the cards were a little too inappropriate for a teenager, regardless of having anything to do with LGBTQ+ themes, and especially as a gift coming from an adult.

So accusing Dubrow of straight fragility probably doesn’t apply in this scenario, but it does provide an opportunity to talk about what straight fragility actually entails, and when it can be a problem.

A perfect example is actually a timely one, with Texas looking to ban hundreds of books from public schools and public libraries, many with LGBTQ+ themes. These books often aren’t any more sexually explicit than books featuring straight characters, who may or may not engage in relationships or romance over the course of the story, but the mere existence of LGBTQ+ identities causes some pearl-clutching to want them gone.

It’s a double standard, often born out of the baseless fear that exposure to queer things will make someone queer.

It can also overlap with fragile masculinity, in cases where straight men feel the need to constantly express that they aren’t gay, or are too afraid to engage in things that seem “feminine” or get too close to members of the same sex. (And of course the same can be said for straight women who act similarly afraid of being seen as gay, although the parameters generally shift in that scenario.)

Again, straight fragility doesn’t seem to be the issue in the case of these Orange County Housewives duking it out over a card game so explicit that they had to bleep out the content on air. But that doesn’t mean it isn't a problem that is frequently overlooked or dismissed, especially when perpetrated by people who don't consider themselves homophobic.