7 Rookie Moves This Trans Guy Made in Bed

Some people are mediocre lovers, and they never improve. Either nobody challenges their bedroom skills, or they are too afraid to talk to partners about their performance. In retrospect, I've made some mistakes and had a few "oops" moments. Here are seven slip-ups I made in my decade of being sexually active. 

1. Premature Ejaculation

No matter how many years of experience I rack up, I still think I climax too quickly. However, I learned that sometimes my girlfriend wants me to finish quick, which is great. When I started testosterone, I finished incredibly quickly. Then I learned how to control it by switching positions and communicating with my partner. I let her know when it may happen, and if we want the intimacy to last a little longer, we slow down.

2. Swallowing

The first time I swallowed I don’t know what I did wrong. I could feel the residue in my throat for hours after the affair, which scared me. I was pretty disgusted. So, when I find myself in that situation, I always rinse my mouth thoroughly by drinking a ton of water. 

3. Lube Slip-Up

Lube is everyone’s best friend. A lubricated condom is just not enough. If you wear a condom, you should use lube. On a few occasions, we skipped the lube, and the condom dried out, which made it unpleasant for everyone involved. I learned the importance of lube when I accidentally rubbed my partner raw.

4. Anal Atrocity

All I can say is: Take it very very slow.

Butt play deserves an extensive warm up, and adult films should never be referred to as instructional material. If you've been penetrated, you know to go slow. If you haven't received, you need to so that you can understand how uncomfortable and painful it can be. 

5. Queefing

"Queef" is the informal and ugly name for the sound that a front hole or vagina emits. A queef occurs when trapped air is released with a loud noise, which sounds like a big juicy fart. Queefing is completely natural; if your front hole starts flapping, don't be embarrassed. After unexpectedly queefing, I've shut down and immediately apologized. In retrospect, that can make the situation more awkward.

Although to the untrained ear, queefs could seem unpleasant, but they should be interpreted as a form of praise. Queef confidently; you’ll come to appreciate these sexy vibrations as a turn on instead of a mood killer. 

6. Fisting Fault

The first time I fisted someone, I was drunk. I was nineteen. I did not take it slow. Again, lube and speed is necessary and the only way to respect and indeed pleasure a partner. BTW: Don't try new moves while intoxicated. Just don't. 

7. Jack Hammering

Adult films taught me how to have sex (although, most of the "lessons" I learned weren't exactly accurate). I feel sad for all the people who put up with rough and unenjoyable sex because I learned how to make love through pornography. I used to think my partners wanted me to be domineering and to go to pound town. It was an awful mistake, but today I take it slow and listen to my partners because porn sex isn't real sex.