A Queen's Buzzing – Anal Beads Conspiracy Theory Rocks Chess World

Chess just became interesting after a conspiracy theory went viral suggesting a surprise win involved cheating through the use of anal beads.

Grandmaster Magnus Carlsen had been on a winning streak when he was unexpectedly defeated by the lowest-ranking player at a recent major tournament. He pulled out of the remainder of the competition and shared a tweet that was interpreted by many as an accusation that his opponent cheated.

The opponent in question was 19-year-old Hans Niemann. The cheating theories that followed mostly revolved around the use of an AI to predict the best next move, although measures were in place to make sure only approved radio frequencies were transmitted from the tournament, and there was a 15-minute delay in the broadcast.

Still, suggestions that wireless anal beads could have beat these measures and transmitted AI-driven suggestions for the next move from a friend watching at home soon exploded across the corners of the internet interested in chess.

This outrageous theory became so popular that it soon made its way onto more mainstream social media and news sites.

At one point, the theory even got turned on its head, suggesting that Carlsen has been using the anal beads technique for a decade and that Neimann stole it. Alas, their signals were supposedly getting crossed constantly.

Obviously, the whole thing is a truly wild conspiracy theory – albeit one that might have actual consequences, as Neimann’s reputation is being dragged through the mud despite no actual proof that he cheated.

“If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it,” he said in response to the allegations. “I don’t care. Because I know I am clean. You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care. I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”

If nothing else, this whole thing is certainly giving people ideas as to how to put an unexpected twist on a game of chess. But maybe only try this one at home.

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