7 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive When You're Already Kinky

7 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive When You're Already Kinky

Ugh, I know the struggle: literally, every article out there on kink is an introduction to kink, or another headline about BDSM for beginners. (It’s my fault, I’ve been writing them!) Now that people no longer clutch their pearls at the term “kink” thanks to 50 Shades of Grey (I know, I know), everyone and their mother wants to know how to get into the scene. But what if you’re already knee deep, or in the case of fisting, elbow deep? How do you keep the spark alive when you already know where on the body is safe to hit, all about aftercare, and that CBT stands for "cock and ball torture" rather than "cognitive behavioral therapy?"

PRIDE put together seven tips for how to keep the spark alive (electro-play?) when you’re already plenty kinky!

1. Level up

You can make any kink kinkier. For instance, if you’re into spanking, rather than stick with daddy’s hand, use a leather paddle or flogger, and explore impact play with a toy that packs a heavier punch. Those who truly know what they are doing, and enjoy impact play, can try the single-tailed whip. However, this can cause bodily harm, so only use one if you’re well-practiced and understand anatomy.

2. Go to events

If you live in a city such as New York or San Francisco, there’s literally kink parties every single night. Smaller towns and suburbs may also surprise you. Sure, you may have your kink routine down to a tee between you and your partner, but what about among the energy of others? Not only does going to kink events teach you something, but you get to meet other kinky people. If you’re unsure of where to find an event, check out FetLife, the kinky social network (that literally lists too many kink events to count).

3. Check in with one another

For all you know, your sub could have watched some porn that features electro-stimulation and is acting all bratty because you haven’t shocked them yet. Or maybe one of you is butt hurt that no one has brought enemas into the mix yet. Sure you’re kinky, but do you communicate? It sounds so obvious, but we’re all so bad about it. Ask your beloved kinky play partner what else they’d like to try and share how you’d be interested in expanding your routine.

4. Go on vacation

Sometimes you need to literally get out of town. Kinky couples may have their sex life squared away, but remember, kinky couples are still couples...in relationships. Beware of becoming so obsessed with whips and chains that you forget nurturing your partnership through other avenues. Vacation is always a good idea. Build a budget and go somewhere new to take a break from work and enjoy the quality alone time. New beds are such a turn on, and unusual locations can provide kinky inspiration if you’re regular bed has become a bit mundane.

5. Go shopping

Sometimes you need to see something in person to realize you want to try it. So, on a lovely afternoon, go on a date to your local sex shop. You may spot a glamorous fox-tailed butt plug and realize that you want to try pet play (which, by the way, is totally hot).

6. Do something vanilla

You’re rolling your eyes at the word “vanilla,” but I know this photo of the ice cream cone looks delicious. As mentioned before when we talked vacays, kinky couples can get so caught up in their scenes that they forget about romantic dinners, breakfast in bed, or even a movie date. Like a writer with writer’s block, sometimes we need to step away from something to gain perspective. So take a mini-kink break and indulge in some vanilla date nights.

7. Try something brand new

Sure, you have cock and ball torture mastered, but have you ever dressed up in costumes, or practiced orgasm denial? Are you the least bit curious about golden showers? Another fun thing about kink is that there are literally endless options of weird shit to do in bed. Some people can only get off when they’re stoned and in an adult diaper. Once again, for inspiration, cruise through FetLife.