Let’s be real: Dating is the ultimate clusterf*ck. Modern apps and tech are changing the dating game faster than many of us can keep up. While apps like Grindr and Scruff allow us gay/bi men in small towns to meet other queer men, most of the time, they’re used for sending unsolicited d*ck pics. And inevitably, we do grow tired of chatting with strangers online and want to meet someone IRL. While there are a number of places to meet other gay/bi men (if you’re lucky enough to be in a large, urban town), at the end of the day, it always seems to come back to the bar.
Going to a bar alone can be intimidating as all hell, but that’s why you have friends. And as friends, one of their many, many jobs is to be a hell of a good wingman. Now there are a ton of articles online on how to be a good wingman. But when you’re gay/bi, the whole dating/hook-up scene is different, and much of the advice given to straight wingmen doesn’t apply to gay/bi wingmen.
Here are seven ways to be the best wingman to your bud.
1. Pump him up before heading to the bar
Get him excited about going out. This is going to be a fun night! During the pre-game, boost his confidence like it’s nobody's business. Blast some pop divas. Help him get dressed up. Make him look sharper than he’s ever looked before. Bring over some hunks for him to flirt with during the pre-game. Make the pre-game all about how freakin’ awesome he is.
2. Have the mindset that you’re there to help your friend
This is crucial, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone out with friends, and we both end up hitting on the same, cute guy. This is a big no-no. You need to keep it in your pants, so your friend can whip it out of his pants.
3. Make it clear you’re not together
If you’re one of those guys who's super touchy, even with you friends, you may want to cool it. So many times I go out to bars/clubs and see two men speaking and wonder, “friends or dating?” Give your man some space.
4. Start up the conversation
Starting up the conversation is often the hardest part of flirting, which is why it’s your responsibility, as a wingman, to start up the conversation for your friend and then to introduce him in an organic way.
5. Handle all the logistics
You don’t want him worrying about how he’s getting home, where you guys are heading next, or if he has enough cash to pay the cover. He doesn’t need any additional stressors tonight. He needs to have laser-like focus. He needs to keep his eye on the prize and not be distracted by logistics, so take care of all the boring stuff.
6. Give him the pep talk
“You are f*cking amazing and any guy here would be lucky to have you. If they’re not interested, they’re loss. You got this. Ready? Now let’s go get you some d*ck.”
7. Dance your heart out
You need to be that fun, outgoing guy that draws in all the looks. You can’t just stand there awkwardly. Embrace you aunt who always get’s too tipsy at family parties and shimmy like no one’s watching. You need to grab all the attention, so you can then divert it to your friend.
