Bottoms, Here Are 11 Ways to Help Get Rid of Those Pesky Anal Fissures

You’ve probably heard someone mention anal fissures at some point in your life...

...and if you’re a bottom, you may very well have already had them.

So what exactly are they? Anal fissures are small tears in the thin, moist tissue (mucosa) that lines your anus. Most (straight) people get them from very large bowel movements. If you’re a bottom though, you’re at a higher risk for them, especially if your partner is a power driller who uses his large tool tactlessly.

Anal fissures can be incredibly painful. They can cause bleeding after you poop (and after sex). They also will randomly itch throughout the day. It’s an awkward bodily sensation to have something inside you that’s both itchy and painful. It can hurt to sneeze, laugh, walk, sit, and poop if they get really irritated. So, here are 11 things you need to know about getting, preventing, and healing anal fissures.

*Disclaimer: I'm (definitely) not a medical professional. Please consult (and follow up with) your doctor if you think you have anal fissures!*

1. Keep your bowel movements loose

Constipation is anal fissures’ best friend. The pushing and pressure from constipation can cause tears in your mucosa and rip the tears you already have further open. Make sure to stay hydrated and eat tons of fiber to avoid constipation. If that’s not enough, definitely get something like Colace (or a stronger laxative) to regulate your bowel movements.

2. Eat more olive oil

As with staying hydrated and eating more fiber to help keep your bowel movements loose, consider adding in more olive oil to your daily intake, as well. This is a natural laxative to help you pass your stool. Additionally, mixing in a little honey and beeswax, then heating up the mixture and letting it cool, can also be used as a topical.

3. Don’t hold in your poops

When you hold in your poops, they will eventually come out, and when they do, they come out more intensely, packing an even stronger punch. This can agitate the tissue and cause additional tears.

4. Make friends with aloe vera

Aloe vera is a natural ingredient that helps cool and sooth the affected areas. If you can’t find an aloe plant on your own, buy some organic gel from the store and repeat every three to four hours as needed.

5. Use more lube during sex than you thought possible

Douse yourself in lube. Bathe in it. Dunk his whole penis in a vat of it. Lube makes his penis more slippery, which helps prevent fissures (or allows them to heal). When you have dry sex, your anus will be irritated even more.

6. Soak in a hot bath

As if you need another excuse to lounge about in the bath, doing so will also help you with your anal fissures. Soaking in warm water for 10 to 20 minutes a day helps relax the sphincter, thus promoting healing.

7. Cool it with the bottoming for a little bit

Alas, you may have to stop bottoming for a bit until the tissue has time to heal. Even if you’re doing everything right, the constant pressure and friction from being penetrated, even when heavily lubed, will prevent the fissures from healing properly. If you do have sex, be gentle. Nice and easy.

8. Wear butt plugs around the house

Sorry boys, I know how much you pride yourself in having a tight butt hole, but you’re going to have to loosen up. Butt plugs allow you to loosen yourself slowly and on your own terms. (You need to be gentle or you'll rip it open further, and lube! All the lube!) Your poops will then put less strain on the tissue that lines your anus, and sex won’t be as irritating and painful.

9. Preparation H

The #1 doctor-recommended, over-the-counter medication for treating fissures (and hemorrhoids). Preparation H makes a number of products for all your anal needs. They make ointments, maximum pain relief creams, cooling gels, suppositories, medicated wipes, and anti-itch creams. (Important note: this is only a temporary fix, and please don't apply on open wounds!)

10. AnuSol Cream

Another over-the-counter medication, AnuSol Cream is an additional tool you should have in your toolbox to help treat anal fissures. Some men have better luck with it than they do with Preparation H. (Again, only a temporary fix, and don't apply on open wounds!)

11. Rectiv Rectal

Rectiv Rectal is a medication you can only get prescribed from your doctor. It’s an ointment, very similar in texture to Neosporin. You insert a dab into your anus every 12 hours. It helps to heal the ripped tissue with its magical, medical powers.