Rules of Etiquette for Your First Threesome

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Rules of Etiquette for Your First Threesome

So you’ve thought about and decided you want to have a threesome?

Sounds like a plan. But before you jump into it, there are some things you should strongly consider. While they’re no strict “rules” for a threesome, there are definitely guidelines to guarantee you and your two partners have a fun, safe, and pleasurable time. Here are 7 etiquette “guidelines” for your first threesome. FYI, threesome dynamics can be very different if you are a single person joining a couple, all three single, or a couple letting a single join you. Be respectful and be open and aware of everyone’s feelings, and know that at any point, you can call it off.

Discuss what you want to do with each partner

Is this a three-way make out session? Only oral? Penetration? Let your partners know beforehand what you want. Saying things like, “It would be really hot if…” and “What I really want to do to you is…” You don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable, and you, yourself, don’t want to be uncomfortable either. Do your best to create a safe and explorative atmosphere.

Shower and clean up beforehand

Cleanliness is crucial if you plan on penetration. And an "accident" from anal penetration can really alter the mood. If you’re meeting up with them, and you think that is on the menu, shower beforehand. If you met them at a club, and you’re all hot and sweaty, you can all take a sexy shower together before getting down and dirty again.

Be aware of your partners’ pleasure and comfort

Sometimes it's not possible to state exactly what you want to do before you hook up. And sometimes, it changes as things progress. You may decide you want to do more or less. That’s all expected, which is why it’s important to be mindful of what your partner(s) is/are enjoying. Are they moaning when you do something? Then keep doing it. Do they back away when you touch them somewhere? Then don’t touch them there again. It’s all about creating a safe and pleasurable space.

Be prepared to switch condoms if you’re going back and forth

This is how people get sick. If you’re switching between anuses and/or vaginas you need to switch condoms. And for the love of god, don’t go directly from anus to mouth without knowing the health risks. Gloves and dental dams are also good to have on hand.

Stay involved when you’re not directly participating

Especially since it’s difficult to go back and forth quickly between condoms, there will be times where two people are more engaged than the third. That’s okay. While you’re waiting to bat, still be involved. Touch your partners’ chests. Hold their hands. Make out. Or touch yourself. Enjoy the show.

Be mindful of the third person

That said, if you are one of the two people more engaged, be mindful of the third person. It’s important to share the love so no one feels left out.

Have a huge three person cuddle session when you’re done

When you’re done, all lie together and relax. Enjoy each others' companies and create a three-way bonding moment. There’s nothing worse than when you like someone and s/he immediately jumps out of bed right after hooking up.