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6 Things We Learn About Ourselves From Heartbreak

6 Things We Learn About Ourselves From Heartbreak

6 Things We Learn About Ourselves From Heartbreak
ZacharyZane_

Photo: Shutterstock/ProStockStudio

There are no words that can describe the pain of heartbreak. It messes with our minds knowing that someone has that much power over us and that they can make us feel this horrible. Only a few of us will go through life without ever experiencing a broken heart, and while a part me envies those who married their high school sweetheart, I would never wish to be them. Heartbreak is one the most devastating yet fundamental and uniquely human experiences. Without it, we can’t grow. When we finally move past the heartbreak, we discover who we truly are.

Here are 6 things we learn about ourselves from getting our hearts broken.

1. Everything comes with time.
Time is the only remedy to mend a broken heart. While every heart heals, there are differences in how much time it takes. How long it takes and what you do during that time is completely up to you.

2. There are few things more necessary in life than a good cry.
It’s 2015. By now I think most men are past hypermasculine bullshit. Shedding tears is no longer believed to be effeminate or a sign of weakness. We realize it’s necessary, cathartic, and healthy. Let yourself cry after experiencing heartbreak. 

3. You can only experience this low because you felt so high.
If you never loved him so much, you could never feel the pain from heartbreak. There’s beauty in knowing that you have a capacity to love without reservation. That you aren’t afraid to put your heart out on the table, regardless of the outcome.

4. Emotional pain hurts more than physical pain.
Our gut feels like it’s caving in and there’s a pain in our chest. It feels like our heart has literally broken. We have trouble eating, our stomachs are in distress, our acne breaks out. Our bodies shut down. It physically hurts to be broken up with.   

5. You're stronger than you think.
When you first got your heart broken, you thought life would never be the same again. You thought you’d never be able to love again. Then something happens. You change. Suddenly, you can get out of bed in the morning. You’re no longer depressed. You can go on dates with new people. You’ve reached the end of the tunnel and come out stronger than you thought you ever were. 

6. You will love again.
You will. That doesn’t cheapen your relationship with the person you loved before. That relationship exists independently of what happens next in your life romantically, and he will always hold a special place in your heart.

The Advocates with Sonia BaghdadyOut / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

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Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.

Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.