"Nothing you say matters unless that camera is rolling." That's what RuPaul allegedly told Drag Race's Season 7's Pearl minutes after meeting her for the first time.
"That broke my spirit," Pearl explained in a Hey Qween interview with Johnny McGovern. "That is the reason why I had one foot in, one foot out the entire time I was on that show."
Many fans recall that awkward standoff the Top 3 contestant had with Ru, and the infamous line, "Do I have something on my face." Now we have some backstory for the tension.
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"Maybe that was me being petty. Maybe that's me thinking that it should've been something that I never should have expected it to be. But in that moment it was so heartbreaking because I idolized her, worshipped her. And it felt like it was just so disrespectful." She went on, "It was so Hollywood, rotted, gross."
In the week after that news shook the Drag Race fandom, Pearl says a producer from the show called and told her she'd never be invited back to participate in All Stars. She spoke about the moment in a personal YouTube video, while making clear that her intentions aren't to come for Ru.
“If you wanna know the real T, I had a producer from RuPaul’s Drag Race call me after the interview aired and guaranteed me that I would never come back and do All Stars,” said Pearl. “Now, I was never dumb enough to think I would be invited back for All Stars, and I was definitely not gunning for it at all, but to openly punish me for being honest about a situation that happened with me after four years of silence, is disgusting and shameful.”
She went on to talk about the toxic climate Drag Race has created for the queens and the sometimes brutal fandom:
"This narrative about how we Drag Race contestants owe our lives to RuPaul’s Drag Race — that needs to completely change… I’m finally at the place in my life where I’m confident enough to know that I would have been somebody with or without Drag Race.
Drag Race catapults a few of us to some major success, but what about the other drag queens that are on Drag Race who are getting daily death threats, or the ones that completely quit doing drag altogether, or the ones who are reduced to 'who?!' by you guys online because they haven’t reached a level of success that you expect…
On a positive note, I do think that my time on the show, and my experience, opened up an alternative idea of how a drag queen is 'supposed to act,' thus allowing future contestants to be as introverted or cerebral as what feels natural to them.”