The jury is in: Wendy Williams isn't welcome as a co-host of the RuPaul's Drag Race season nine pre-show viewing party, Fierce Fridays. Detox pointed out a problematic, transphobic facet of Wendy's history on Instagram yesterday—which Ru's bestie and Drag Race judge Michelle Visage backed up in the comments—and Alaska Thunderfuck took to Unicorn Booty to expand upon the transphobic side of the decidedly "never mean for fun" co-host.
The lovely Ross Mathews can totally stay, but here are some of our suggestions as for Wendy's replacement:
1. Lil' Poundcake
Instead of having a straight up d*ck host the pre-show, how about the straight up, motherf*cking d*ck pig we all know and love? I mean, yeah she'd probably scare The Straights™, but that's essentially a cultural goal, right?
2. Miss Coco Peru
After this little stunt, VH1's gonna need a little tension tamer. And who better than the queen of... literal tea? Coco's been in the game long enough to be able to handle the pressure of live television, and her brand of comedy is just vanilla enough for a major network. (Plus, she's my fave.)
3. A raccoon
Less problematic? √
Still sassy? √
4. Your pro-Trump grandmother from Alabama
If we're going to make one of the hosts problematic, why not go all the way? At least this way Ross can have a bit of fun, and there's probably a ton she hasn't seen of RuPaul's. Television loves shock value.
5. Liz, from Publizity, which is based off their names
A bit out of the show's demographic, but Liz is technically a drag queen. And hilarious. Still super problematic, though, so we'll keep thinking.
6. Dame Edna Everage
Live TV requires wit, and that's seemingly what Dame Edna is comprised of entirely. You might remember her from her 53-second cameo in Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, or from her amazing game show, Dame Edna's Neighborhood Watch, in which she invades the homes of three lucky contestants and exposes their personal lives to the world. But VH1 probably can't afford her...
7. Literally Ryan Seacrest
I'd go with the raccoon first, personally.
8. An antique radio playing static
Probably a similar price range.
9. Kreacher, from Harry Potter, who I'd still choose before Ryan Seacrest
Did I mention my dislike for Ryan Seacrest?
10. Corinne Olympios, from The Bachelor
This can end whenever you want, VH1 casting. Just say the word.
11. Tommy Pico, THOT-poet
In other words, I really just missed Food 4 Thot last weekend.
12. Justin Sayre
If you missed his comedy special at Joe's Pub on Drag Race last year, watch it and tell me you wouldn't die for a pre-show with Justin and Ross. For real, can we make this happen?
Anyway, watch RuPaul's Drag Race this Friday, and if you feel so inclined, skip out on the pre-show if Wendy's still around. Also, if you feel dually inclined, check out this Change.org petition to cancel her as one of the show's co-hosts. Yeah, it really exists.
