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Watch Ted Cruz Humiliate Himself By Telling Women What They Want In Bed & Get ROASTED For It
The Texas senator managed to make every women within a 100 mile radius dry as a bone.
Ted Cruz is one of the last people in the world women should take sex advice from, but that didn’t stop the Texas Senator from dolling it out in a new cringe-inducing viral video.
Cruz was speaking at America Fest—an annual event put on by the far-right Christian nationalist group Turning Point USA—alongside a literal who’s who of MAGA die-hards like Glenn Beck, Vivek Ramaswamy, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Roseanne Barr, and Donald Trump Jr, reported Rolling Stone.
In the now-viral video, Cruz is on stage at the event shouting at the top of his lungs about how “unhappy” and “pissed off” the left is.
This feels like projection, Ted. You're telling on YOURSELF.
Ted Cruz says liberal women are unhappy and pissed off all the time because liberal men don’t satisfy them in bed. pic.twitter.com/Som7PPLrpK
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 19, 2023
He then went on to insult all of our intelligence by saying that Democratic women aren’t being satisfied in bed by their liberal partners. “By the way, if you were a Liberal woman, and you had to sleep with those weenies, you’d be pissed too,” Cruz said.
Cruz is the opposite of a panty dropper, so perhaps he should stay in his lane.
Not only is this false on its face, but it’s also factually inaccurate. A 2020 YouGov-Economist poll found that only 35% of women were willing to date someone with different political views, and only 40% of Democrats said they would date across party lines, according to The Hill.
In 2022, the conservative pro-Trump dating app The Right Stuff launched but faced problems almost immediately when it failed to entice female users. This is especially problematic considering the app only caters to straight people,The Conversation reported. It’s almost as if liberal women want NOTHING to do with conservative men who are obsessed with controlling women’s bodies.
The comment section under the viral video posted by journalist Ron Filikowski on X (Formerly Twitter) is full of hilarious comments from users who also got the ick listening to Cruz’s speech.
“Lmao Ted the only time you please your wife is when you leave the house,” one user commented.
“Watching this is contraception,” another person quipped.
“Ted Cruz just mentioning sex made me vomit a little in my mouth,” another person accurately explained.
Ted Cruz just mentioning sex made me vomit a little in my mouth. 🤮
— Art Candee 🍿🥤 (@ArtCandee) December 19, 2023
Cruz also railed against President Biden during his ridiculous speech, claiming the president wears diapers. “We have a president of the United States who, his team carries extra pairs of pants with him when he travels in case he has poopy pants,” he said.
You know you’re reaching when you must resort to childish insults to make your point.
Cruz thinking he and other Republicans are more capable of satisfying women in bed than Democrats is both gross and pathetic—so right in keeping with Trump’s party.
See some of the funniest responses to Cruz's speech below!
Ted Cruz talking about being satisfied in bed is hysterical! pic.twitter.com/OnzdArRAgr
— 🪴Laurie (@Laurieluvsmolly) December 19, 2023
Sure.
— Jay Black (@jayblackisfunny) December 19, 2023
What ALL women want is Ted Cruz’s beady-eyed slow-Ewok face two inches from theirs, twisted up in hedgehog ecstasy as he ruts like a rusty piston for two minutes before shouting Trump’s name and landing next to them in a sweaty shame ball.
Ted watching Lauren Boebert during Beetlejuice. pic.twitter.com/pUlX405EEL
— fritzie urquhart (@fritzie4art) December 19, 2023
Let’s ask Ted’s wife what she thinks of his game… pic.twitter.com/3i2ljzEAKh
— Meme Genes (@toddlambert) December 19, 2023
Like women are just wondering what it's like to fuck Ted Cruz?
— Machine Pun Kelly 🇺🇦 (@KellyScaletta) December 19, 2023
Even Stephen King wouldn't write a horror story like that.
You mean this subhuman Trumptoilet/Bidet Ted Cruz who has to pay for sex? pic.twitter.com/UnfTYEyuKp
— (((Tara Dublin))) Wrote An Awesome Book! (@taradublinrocks) December 19, 2023
Yes, these are the deft elbows you want gently stroking your tender nethers. pic.twitter.com/RS4W68qyE8
— Allen Weisselberger (@weisselbergers) December 19, 2023
You mean this Ted Cruz? pic.twitter.com/VbjSaIWTED
— SnarkTank (@TheSnarkTank99) December 19, 2023
Ted Cruz - if vaginal dryness were a person.
— 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢 (@ChidiNwatu) December 20, 2023
At least liberal men are getting laid. pic.twitter.com/i8ecK8cZnb
— M. Effer (@1223MCMXC) December 19, 2023
The only time Ted Cruz satisfies a woman in bed is after he leaves it. 🤣
— Melissa Walker 🇨🇦 (@Walkerm211) December 19, 2023
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
