Literally Two People Showed Up to Dallas Straight Pride Event

If Boston’s Straight Pride and the light calamity it caused left anyone in the LGBTQ community worried this ridiculous trend would catch on around the country, it’s looking like that concern may have been misplaced.

A supposedly highly anticipated straight pride event took place in Dallas, Texas on Saturday. Organized by a group called Protecting Our Next Generations (its acronym 'PONG' aptly representing how outdated it is) and supported by Super Happy Fun America, the anti-gay group that organized the events in Boston and Modesto, the event was promised to be heavily attended.

On Saturday, two people showed up.

Apparently, at the very last minute (as in,  before the heterosexuals were set to gather), the organizers backed out of paying the fees for the permit required based on how big they anticipated the event would be.

While the permit fees were standard for literally anyone wanting to hold a public event of this proposed caliber, and caused a similar issue for a Transgender Pride event scheduled in Dallas earlier this year, Super Happy Fun America was quick to blame the “Democrat controlled cities [who] do not respect the free speech rights of all citizens.” In other words, Dallas can’t provide free security and insurance for an event that intended to shut down streets and disrupt daily life.

However, it’s important to note that the event wasn’t actually canceled. It was merely “scaled back” and the organizers’ 11th hour Facebook post stated an intention to show up on Saturday anyway.

They did not.

Just those two people. Both from out of town. One of whom claimed he had been kicked out of his home and fired for being straight, for being part of the "oppressed majority."

Oh, and twenty protestors who undoubtedly quickly realized they were catching the tail end of a really sad joke.

But the heteros claim they'll be back next year for a do-over. We'd suggest charging attendees a cover fee to cover the cost of the permit, but at this rate, it would be at least a few thousand dollars each.