The LGBTQ+ community has fought long and hard to get the right to marry, and a little over five years ago, all of our hard work paid off (finally). SCOTUS legalized marriage for same-sex couples. I remember exactly where I was the moment the verdict was revealed: at my little cubicle in downtown Boston. Tears of joys were streaming down my face. I received texts from close family members and friends. I knew it was a day I would never forget. We, the LGBTQ+ community, can now marry in all 50 states, regardless of our gender identity or our partner’s.
It felt like a win. I felt like this world might have a little more good in it than evil. I felt that we, as a society, we’re moving forward.
But just because we have the right, doesn't mean we must marry. Many queer millennials don’t want to marry, and that’s 100% okay.
Here are 4 reasons why many LGBTQ+ millennials don’t want to get married.
1. Finances
Thanks to student loans, millennials are thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in debt. We’re working our asses off, but the job market is crap. We graduated Phi Betta Kappa and are making minimum wage. Many of us are barely getting by. Finances become much more complicated the moment you’re married, and many of us simply don’t want to deal with it.
2. We don’t want to be like unhappy, heteronormative straight couples
When I think of marriage, I don’t think of a man and woman growing old together, madly in love 50 years down the road. I think of the high divorce rate. I think of all the older couples who are miserable in their marriages but are too afraid to leave their partner. I think of boredom. I think of kids. Marriage isn’t alluring like it once was, and that depressing, boring heteronormative lifestyle simply has no appeal.
3. We enjoy our independence
We don’t believe that we need another man or woman to make us feel whole. Gay millennials are focusing on themselves, their careers, and how to bring themselves happiness. We value our friendships more than our partners. We want to put ourselves first and can’t do that when we’re married.
4. Monogamy
Many of us fundamentally don’t believe in monogamy. While there are a number of married gay men who are "monogam-ish" or open, many of us don’t see the point in marriage, if we’re not going to be monogamous anyway.
So what are your thought on queer, millennial marriage? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter!
