11 Ways to Get Over a Breakup

It's hard, but not impossible.

In addition to sick days, work should also offer breakup days. Seriously, it's easy to brush breakups off (especially since they happen to all of us), but just like the flu, they knock you out. Symptoms include sobbing uncontrollably, not being able to get out of bed, sending manic text messages, believing that you will die alone, wanting to smash things, hating everything, loving everything, grieving, etc. And there's just no way around it.

Getting over a breakup is difficult and takes time, but here are 11 things you can do that will help ease the pain—even if it's just a little bit of it!

1. Cry

Some people aren't criers, but as a water sign, I simply can't relate to this. Crying after a break up is sort of like throwing up when you have the stomach flu—you just have to let it out. Trying to hold it in feels even worse and delays the healing process. So don't just fight the urge to sob, give into it. And get all of that hurt and heartbreak out so you can eventually move on and fall in love again. 

2. Feel the feelings

Crying is one way to release emotions. Unfortunately, the other ways aren't that fun either and may involve being curled up in bed remembering the good times or hating your ex. While it hurts (like seriously), if you were truly in love, a break up may actually leave you wondering if you can die from heartbreak. But you have to get it out.

When we bottle hurt, it just haunts us, following us from one relationship to another until there's not just one person we loved to mourn, but many. You won't be your best self, or your best self in your next relationship, if you don't allow yourself to mourn the most recent one. Plus, while you may hate your ex (and you're allowed to), think of breakups like a death of a loved one (wrote the Scorpio). Despite the bad shit, there was good shit, and it deserves to be mourned. 

3. Talk to your friends

You might be tempted to isolate yourself during heartbreak, but you need to reach out to your loved ones (just not your ex). Seriously, that's what friends are for. Yes, you might be depressing and annoying, but that's also what friends are for. Talk to your friends, talk shit about your ex with your friends, ask them how they got over people, and let them take you out and spend time together. Just remember to return the friend duties and be there when the wheel of fortune turns and they need to rely on you. 

4. Consider therapy

Friends are crucial, but during a breakup, it might be a good time to see a therapist as well. Friends (hopefully) will always have your back and take your side, but having a neutral party can provide valuable insight and help you grow. Plus, you're paying them, so they have to listen to you whine for an hour, whereas your friends may dip for a Tinder date after like, 20 minutes of you talking about your ex's Instagram. I love therapy because you're allowed to be as emotional and insane as you want, so it's a fun safe space in that way. 

5. Throw out their stuff

Have you ever met up with an ex post-breakup to give one another your stuff back, and had it been a pleasant experience? "Why, thank you for my old clothes in the garbage bag that smells like you, complete with a pair of sweatpants that are totally from another woman, I feel filled with closure and not at all suicidal."

Throw. Their. Stuff. Out. They can buy a new sweatshirt. And if they really broke your heart, they can buy a new watch. I don't care, but save your self the pain and just throw your ex's trash out. Speaking from a witchy perspective, our ex's belongings do carry their energy (even scientifically speaking, skin cells and what not) and you do not want that in your apartment. Put their clothes in a trash bag and toss it in a garbage where they belong. Donate them if you're feeling humanitarian. 

6. Redecorate a bit

Along with throwing out their shit, if you can afford it, redecorate a bit after a breakup. Buy some new art, absolutely buy some new sheets, and shuffle things around so the place feels new, regardless if you lived together or not. It's a great excuse to clean and to spruce up your home for when you're ready to bring new lovers around. 

7. Treat yourself

If you're going through a break-up or just got dumped, or maybe you just dumped someone (which is painful if you have a heart), trust me, you need a massage. Go to the spa and have someone work out that tension for you. 

8. Rejoin dating apps

Go slow and trust your gut on this one, because rejoining dating apps too soon (and then getting creepy messages) can make you miss your old relationship more. But when you're ready, open that app store, download all the apps to get laid, and just to start, flirt like hell. Attention is as vital as food. 

9. Get laid

Take your time, but at some point, you should have sex with someone else. Think of it as saging your house. You just need to put someone new in whatever orifice of choice to clear our your ex's energy. 

10. Indulge in the joys of being single

Nachos for breakfast? Solo dance parties to Robyn? Hogging the entire bed? No longer pretending to like their uptight, judgemental relatives? Making out with people whose name you don't know? Uh hello, being single is so much fun! Indulge!

11. Fall in love

This may sound scary right now, but at some point, you will fall in love again. And if you take care of yourself properly after this breakup, learn from your mistakes, and don't rush into anything, the next relationship will be even better. Perhaps they'll handle your heart the way it deserves to be held!