20 signs he's actually into you (and not just being polite)
| 09/11/24
DRJedi
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Sometimes, it’s impossible to figure out how to tell if a guy likes you. Everyone knows the story: You’ve been on a date or two and those damn butterflies be beating apart your stomach. You think he likes you, maybe, but what if he doesn’t? What if he’s just being nice? Leading you on? Telling you what you want to here?
Before you lose your mind, take a breath. We’re here to help. Here are 20 signs he’s actually into you, and not just stringing you along.
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It can be a bit of a shock, and it can also seem too good to be true sometimes, but there is the occasional man who will actually just be upfront and tell you when he's into you. A crazy concept, I know, but it can (and does) actually happen.
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Nobody likes to be toyed around with, and nobody likes the games. If he's not playing any games with you and it totally seems genuine, he may actually be into you.
This is a big one. If you’re always the one starting a conversation, it’s hard to tell if you’re ever really on his mind. But if he texts you first, it means he’s initiating the communication. A good sign!
This may seem silly, but in this day and age, emojis are part of our digital vocabulary. Some guys just aren’t emoji users, so you’ll have to get to know his style a bit, but if you’re always throwing a wink, a heart, or a kissy-face his way with not even a smiley in return…it could mean he’s just not that into you.
A phone call? What’s that? Yes, we can actually talk on our smartphones. And if a guy foregoes the text and goes right for the phone call, that definitely means he’s down to get to know you more.
If you’re not into someone, you either tell them, or ghost them, hoping they’ll forget about you. But if a guy is eager to spend time with you, he’ll make sure you have plans to hang out. If he’s the one setting up the next date, you can bet he’s into you.
When you’re just being polite, you usually let the other person talk, adding in a few “uh-huhs” and “yeahs” to show them you’re (sort of) paying attention. But if your date is engaged in the conversation, asking questions and wanting to know more about you, it’s a good sign!
If he’s just being polite, and doesn’t see things going further, he’s definitely not going to let you know where he lives! If you get the invite, it’s a thumbs up for sure.
This is part two of the previous sign. So, you’ve made it to his place. Good sign. You watch a movie, or have dinner…maybe a little more! Then, instead of calling you an Uber, he asks you to stay the night! Yeah, he’s into you.
If you’re only getting “Hey, you up?” messages at 3 a.m., he might have only one thing on his mind. But, if he sends you a message during the day, saying hi, asking how your day is, telling you a funny story, all signs point to something more than a booty call!
Bringing someone you’re dating to meet your friends is no small gesture. If he was just being polite, there’s no way he’d open up to you like that!
Dinner and a movie dates are so junior high. Sitting through a movie doesn’t give you the chance to talk and get to know someone. So if it’s always a night at the movies, you may be getting the cold shoulder.
Maybe it’s a childhood story. Or a nervous tic. Whatever it may be, letting your guard down and revealing something embarrassing is not something you’d do for just anyone. If he’s opening up, he’s probably into you!
Some may call it “having the conversation.” If he’s willing to talk about the status of your relationship, that usually means he sees it continuing in some form. Maybe he’s into you, but prefers open relationships. Maybe he’s into you and doesn’t want to see other people. Either way, if he’s sharing his feelings, it means you’re important to him.
Now, this doesn’t mean he’s showering you with expensive gifts (necessarily), or that the only way people can show affection is through material things. But, if he buys you flowers, or a ticket to a show, or picks up the tab at dinner, it means he doesn’t mind spending some of his money (as well as his time) on you.
Ding ding ding! No sane person would invite someone they weren’t into on a trip. It means you’re together for long periods of time, sharing hotels, car rides, and adventures. If a trip is in your future, you can bet he really really likes you!
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This doesn’t mean you have to meet his family, but if he tells a sibling or a cousin or a parent or anybody else who shares any type of blood relation to him about you, he may actually be into you. Bonus sign, if he does want you to meet the fam, he’s for realsie serious.
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He doesn’t necessarily need to tell the world he “belongs” to you. But if you’ve taken a picture or two together that you see pop up on his feed, maybe accompanied with a cute caption, he might be subtly letting everyone know who’s really got his interest.
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Hey, he’s told you about whether or not he wants to see other people. Before he initiates that conversation, he may also just be curious about your dating life as a whole. Maybe it’s him that’s questioning your interest instead of vice versa?
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Honey, if he pulls out the pots and pans and whips something up for a meal together, he’s a keeper. It doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal, but any time or effort spent in the kitchen making sure you’re fed is a sure sign he’s actually interested.
Dustin loves writing, reading, and movies, and is basically a cat lady. He's passionate about travel, but most of all, he's obsessed with a little space opera called Star Wars.
Dustin loves writing, reading, and movies, and is basically a cat lady. He's passionate about travel, but most of all, he's obsessed with a little space opera called Star Wars.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.