28 lesbian sex tips adult films won't teach you

Female sexuality is a mystifying thing — at least on the internet.

When it comes to porn, "lesbian sex" is everywhere, but it’s never actually for lesbians. For some reason, it’s nearly impossible to find "content" where women are having sex with women only for women. (We have some tips for finding good ethical porn by the way!)

Where do you go if you’re looking for a move or six?

I’ve gathered up tips from cis and trans queer women of different ages, races, and sexual styles. Of course, you don’t have to be a lesbian to have “lesbian sex" — trans and nonbinary folks can certainly get down Sapphic-style, and too! And all of us, regardless of labels and gender, can learn something here you won’t on Onlyfans.

Don't be basic, but know your basics

1. Forget what you see in porn. You’re not having performative sex intended for a man to watch on his screen. React to what you and your specific partner enjoy and don’t try to make it look like Blue Is The Warmest Color (no one screws in perfect symmetry)!

2. Don't worry about shaving too much. It's nice to keep things trimmed and cleaned, but your real life lover isn’t looking for a pornstar’s pussy.

3. Realize that Sapphic bodies come in many forms (including nonbinary folks and pre-op trans women.) Ask your partner how their genitals like to be touched and how you can validate their gender identity in the bedroom.

4. Lesbians do more than go down on each other. Your tongue is not the only tool you can put in the box. You’ve got fingers, dildos, vibrators, and in case of emergency, fruit.

5. Cut your nails!

Stay In & Eat Out

6. Use your whole mouth when giving oral, not just your tongue.

7. Pay attention to her inner thighs. Lick, bite, and blow. The erogenous zone is an often ignored yet extremely sensitive area.

8. Delay. Don’t be afraid to give her a peck down there and breathe on it until she’s practically begging for your tongue.

9. When she begs, you can also penetrate her with your tongue.

10. Insert your fingers into her while giving head to stimulate both her clit and vagina. There’s a reason The Rabbit gets both areas at once!

11. Some people are good with just a fingertip and others want your whole fist. Ask what feels pleasurable and always work your way up.

12. Once you're inside of a girl, curl your fingers so they're shaped like a hook. Pull towards you and straighten them again and repeat.  This will stimulate her g-spot.

Position Yourself For Success

13. Scissoring is a thing. Some ladies like it, but it’s more fun to run your pussy over each other during foreplay rather than play sexual twister.

14. Tribbing is also a thing. Get into it.

15. Make use of pillows by using them to prop your partner up for an easier angle.

16. If you like to be in control, sit on their face. You can change the pressure and movement via your body while receiving oral.

Take Care of Woody & Buzz

17. Pick a strap-on that’s your style. What is a strap-on? It’s a phallus you literally strap onto yourself with an easy belt. They come in different shapes, colors, and sizes.

18. The first time you wear a strap-on, it can seem weird because you can’t feel your own phallus, but your partner definitely will. The more you use it, the more comfortable it will become.

198. Clean your sex toys after every time you have sex. Please.

20. Use condoms. STIs can be spread through sex toys.

21. Get different dildos for different partners. It’s the right thing to do.

22. Don’t buy your sex toys off of Amazon or other unverified online retailers. They’re not FDA approved and have been linked to causing cancer and infertility. Sex toys can be made with jelly-like plastic sheaths are made with phthalates — those nasty chemicals that are in some water bottles – and you don't want them to eventually seep into your system. Instead, buy from companies that sell non-toxic sex toys. Fun Factory, Lelo, Jimmy Jane, nJoy, JeJoue Vibratex, Goldfrau, Elemental Pleasures, OhMiBod, and Nob Elements are a few.

23. If you're wearing a strap-on and penetrating doggy-style, try using a belt (preferably leather.) Loop it under her stomach/hips and hold the end with one hand and the buckle-end with the other. This will give you more thrust and control.

24. If you’re too lazy to wear the strap-on, or if it's simply uncomfortable, use the dildo on each other as if it were an extension of your hands.

Pillow Talk

25. Express what you want and how you want it. There’s no need to qualify your desires.

26. If she says don’t stop, don’t stop!

27. Be as honest as possible about where you are in terms of your sexual and gender identity. If you're unsure, say that. Questioning is an identity in itself!

28. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated – in and out of the bedroom.