12 Tips To Help You Tell Her How You Feel
| 07/18/23
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Tell her how you feel!
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You spend all your free time together, you love being with her, or maybe that gal pal cuddle session after play practice has kept your heart going. But you just can't find a way to say how you feel and ask her out on a date. No worries. Here are our 12 tips to get from awkward crushes to a lovely set of dates.
Be confident in yourself
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She’s beautiful, and she makes your heart skip a beat or two. That’s nerve-wracking, of course, but the first thing to do is be confident in yourself. You won’t know if you don’t try, so don’t hold yourself back.
Detach yourself from the outcome
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It can take a lot of courage to approach someone you find attractive and try to ask her out. One of the best things you can do is detach yourself from the potential outcome. If she likes you back, great! If not, I promise, it’s not the end of the world.
Figure out if she likes other girls
Sometimes it's fun to date straight girls and be "the girl" in their lives. We've all been there. But more often than not, it's just not worth chasing after a girl that isn't into other girls. So before you know for certain you'd like to go out with someone, just make sure they're queer, too. It'll help the heartache down the road.
Ask through friends
Sometimes friends can fill you in on all the info you need –– including whether the girl you're making eyes at has been thinking a lot about you, too. Friends can also play matchmaker if they know another girl who is looking for a date. So don't be afraid to ask for some advice or insight.
Spend some time together
If you don't know your crush that well and don't know how to share your feelings, try spending more time together. This might mean simply hanging out more in class, or it might mean grabbing lunch. Either way, the more time you two share, the better you two can get a sense for each other.
Reach out
If you already getting along well, stay in touch! Invite her to events or just chat over IM. Don't be clingy, of course. But don't be afraid to message her if you have something interesting to talk about.
Mention that you're queer
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She might not pick it up at first, depending. So go ahead and slip it into the conversation that you're attracted to other women. It can be very subtle, but just make sure to clue her in that you two are on the same team.
Show you care
Remember her birthday. Go to events when she invites you. Tell her that you always appreciate your time together. Show her that you value her as a person. She'll start to realize just how important she is to you.
Start small and build up compliments
Tell her she looks cute in her dress. Then tell her makeup looks great. If she's comfortable with your first few compliments, ramp it up. If you compliment her slowly and gradually over time, she'll start to get the message that you aren't just flattering her.
And don't forget to compliment her personality, too
It's the little things about her. The way she laughs, the clothes she wears, her way of speaking and her favorite music. Don't just tell her she looks cute. Tell her she is cute. It'll signal to her that you're interested in more than just the way she looks.
Just say it
Sometimes the best solution is the most obvious one. Once you've gotten to know her a bit or spend some time with her, just go ahead and tell her that you would like to go out on a date. She'll either say yes or no, and that's that!
Start planning that first date
If she says yes (and I bet she will!) then your next step is to start planning out your first date. That means bringing all these tips together and showing your new date just how much you like being around her. If you need some more advice on making your first date work well, check out our list from earlier this month.
