Your body, your rules
These days in general (but especially in the queer community) there’s a sense of judgment if you’re someone who wants to wait to have sex. Maybe it comes from our desire to escape from heteronormativity completely. Maybe it comes from the oppressiveness of a society that values virginity, especially in women. But at the end of the day, if *you’re* deciding for yourself that you want to wait to have sex, whether that means waiting until marriage to do the deed, or simply waiting for love, your choice is valid.
Your body, your decisions. End of story. And we have your back.
Because your business is your own
You can do whatever you want, first and foremost. We'll go over it again soon, but only you can make the decisions that deal with your body. Nobody else has the power or the choice to make you feel less than just because you want to wait. It's nobody else's business who you're having sex with or when you're having it, so brush off the haters and do what makes you feel best.
Because waiting for "the right one" is actually a thing
This isn't necessarily to say that you have to wait for the person you think you could spend the rest of your life with. It's just to say that sometimes people rush into sex because they feel pressured or judged, and they end up regretting the person they lose their virginity to. It's okay to wait for someone who actually makes you feel comfortable, valued and supported.
Because your sex life is your sex life
It’s true that some may pass judgment if you make public that you’re planning on waiting to have sex. But as long as you’re not judging anyone who loves one night stands or isn’t choosing to wait, who has the right to judge YOUR sex life?
Because it's totally possible to have a healthy relationship without sex
As asexual folks and people who abstain from sex can attest to, it’s 100% possible to be in a healthy, normal relationship without having sex. The most important part of a healthy relationship is open communication, so if you’re both on the same page, what’s the concern? It’s definitely more unhealthy to be in a relationship where you feel pressured to engaging in activities you don’t feel ready for.
Because only *you* know when you're ready to have sex
Again, your sex life is YOUR sex life, so only you know when you’re ready to have sex. You can ask all of the friends you want and read loads of articles about how you know you’re ready, but it’s a feeling that only you can identify.
Because your choices are your own
Whether we’re talking sex or anything else, your choices are your own choices. Only you know what you are and aren’t ready for, interested in, or into. Know that your choices are influenced by the larger society, of course, but if you’ve spent time and energy thinking about why you want to wait, it’s 100% your call.
Because, most importantly, your BODY is your own
Too, your body is *your* body, and no one has the right to call that simple fact into question. No partner, friend, or loved one who really cares about and values you would ever judge you for wanting to maintain control of your body. Don’t we, after all, all have that right?
As long as you’re happy with your decision, that’s all that really matters. After all, there are more ways to be in love than having a relationship that revolves around sex.
![Paulie Calafiore dishes on his steamy thirst traps: 'Everybody wants to see [me] half-naked'](https://www.out.com/media-library/image.jpg?id=59778323&width=300)
