By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
Scissoring vs. Tribbing: what's the difference & how to do both
These are the kinds of important activities that sex ed should have been teaching you the whole time!
Queer sex is expansive, it's creative, its only limit is the imagination of those involved. Which is to say, if you're new, it can be a little daunting. If you're looking to expand the ways you and your partners can experience pleasure together, especially in ways that prioritize non-penetrative sex, there are plenty, including tribbing and scissoring.
You might have more questions than answers at this point like: What is scissoring? What is tribbing? How do you do it? How are they different from each other? Don't panic, I promise, it's not all as complex as it sounds. With the help of some instruction your sex ed classes certainly missed, you'll be a pro in no time.
If sex is simply "friction that feels good," then tribadism delivers on that notion's fullest potential. "Tribadism", or "tribbing" for the cool cats out there, can be defined as "the act of rubbing genitals against a partner's body."
That's it. Anytime you are humping, grinding, or scissoring against a partner's body (not just their genitals, but their hips, legs, pelvis, etc.), you're tribbing!
Excellent question!
Scissoring is specifically genital on genital tribbing. Some people find varying degrees of success with scissoring vs. other forms of tribbing, but it's definitely a thing (despite what many have come to think).
No, it's not going to look like when you made your Barbies scissor (and we know you did) because humans have joints, and fat, and can get tired in strenuous positions. But with enough practice, communication, and trouble shooting, YES it is attainable for you to scissor if you really really want to.
It's like how all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. Scissoring is a form of tribbing, but not all tribbing has to be scissoring. Make sense?
It can be as simple or complex as you want it to be. It can be just you, your partners, and your genitals tribbing away like the pioneers did it, or you can add extra forms of stimulation like vibrators or toys made specifically for grinding against.
And in an activity so friction forward, lube can really make or break the experience, so don't be afraid to get wet!
If it's your first time tribbing, don't start with scissoring. Scissoring requires a lot of finesse, as you're trying to rub just one another's genitals on each other. Start with other forms of tribbing with higher rates of success.
Try straddling your partner's leg, you on one of their thighs, with one of your legs in between them. From here, both of you and able to take and receive pleasure from applying pressure with your legs. Or while spooning, the big spoon can grind against the butt of the little spoon, and the little spoon can grind right back. This guide provides helpful illustrations of how to align your bodies together.
Most importantly, take your time, communicate together, and have fun! No one's going to be having a good time if you're so stressed about doing everything "correctly". There is no one correct way! The best way to make tribbing work is to be present in your body and lean in to what feels good (literally).
Happy grinding!
Rowan Ashley Smith has often been described as "a multi-hyphenate about town." He loves work that connects him to his cultures as a gay, Jewish, multiracial trans man. Before breaking into journalism, the best days of his professional life were spent as a summer camp professional, a librarian, and an HIV prevention specialist. His work has been featured in GO Magazine, pride.com, and The Advocate. In what is left of his free time, Rowan enjoys performing stand up comedy, doing the NYT crossword, and spending time with his two partners, two children, and four cats.
Rowan Ashley Smith has often been described as "a multi-hyphenate about town." He loves work that connects him to his cultures as a gay, Jewish, multiracial trans man. Before breaking into journalism, the best days of his professional life were spent as a summer camp professional, a librarian, and an HIV prevention specialist. His work has been featured in GO Magazine, pride.com, and The Advocate. In what is left of his free time, Rowan enjoys performing stand up comedy, doing the NYT crossword, and spending time with his two partners, two children, and four cats.
