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Not everyone is as into it as you think...
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Contrary to popular belief, not every single gay man likes getting on his knees and giving blowjobs. Some only like receiving. Some don’t like receiving OR giving. Usually, this isn’t a problem. If you don’t like giving them, then don’t give them! It’s as a simple as that. But let’s say you start dating a guy who really likes receiving oral, and while you don’t feel pressured to perform, you do want to do something that will make him happy (at least from time to time).
Here are some tips to help you enjoy giving head, just a teeny bit (to a lot) more.
1. Know that you're not alone
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You are far from the only gay man out there who doesn't like giving head. Some guys prefer rimming, and we won't apologize for it! But seriously, getting head feels great, but it's not always as fun to give it. First and foremost, even if you want to get better at blowjobs (which is obviously why you're here), just know you're not the only one going through this.
2. Figure out why you don’t like it
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's figure out where the issue is here. Why don’t you like it? Do you think it’s degrading? You don’t like the taste? It hurts your throat? You’ve had a negative experience in the past? Once you know what’s wrong, you can work through it. If you think it’s degrading, work on a way to give head in an empowering manner. If you don’t like the taste, have him wash his dick. If it hurts your throat, stop attempting to deepthroat...and so on and so forth.
3. Find a friend
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Sometimes, it's intimidating to bring your blowjob skills (or lack thereof) into a hookup or with a stranger. You want to nail it, but you already don't know what you're doing. Find a friend who doesn't mind lending his friend to the cause and helping you perfect your skills.
4. Try different techniques
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It doesn’t have to just be up and down. You can play around with just licking the tip and find other ways to enjoy giving head without having to shove the entire penis in your mouth. It’s better to do that than to risk letting any teeth get involved.
5. Don't forget the balls
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You can have one hand massaging the testicles, the other the prostate, and that’s going to elevate the BJ for both parties involved. There’s a sensitivity added in when you include the low hangers underneath the shaft, so make sure you show them some love, too.
6. Practice makes perfect
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Don’t let confidence be what gets in your way. Think about what you like when someone goes down on you, and try to emulate that. At the same time, think of things you’re not so much a fan of, and avoid them.
7. Know you don’t have to blow him to completion
I think a lot of what’s intimidating is the feeling that if you start, you have to keep going until he orgasms. This simply isn’t true. It can be the beginning of the sexual session. The foreplay. The warm up to anal. It doesn’t have to be a 15-minute, scraping your knees, gagging session. It can be a couple minutes of foreplay to get him even more riled up before he plows you (or you plow him).
8. Lick all of the pubic region
While down there, you don’t need to be sucking the entire time. You can be licking (his inner thigh, his shaft), and teasing him. You can be sucking on his testicles. It doesn’t have to be up and down, up and down nonstop.
9. Use your hands
Your hands are your best friends. Use them up and down his shaft. Sure, experts can deepthroat 10 inches without hands, but that’s not quite where you are just yet. Using hands makes the blowjob less work for you, and still feels really damn good for him.
10. Get some fingers up in his behind
Are you really into ass play? Does that turn you on? Stick your fingers up his bum while blowing him so you get turned on while giving oral. This will also feel ~amazing~ for him!
11. Don’t let him be too aggressive
If he has his hands on the back of your head and is forcing you down, and you already don’t like giving blowjobs, then you’re definitely not going to like giving blowjobs after that. Remove his hands from behind your head, and pin them behind his back while you give him a coy smile. Remember, you have the power in the situation. Not him.
12. Experiment with flavored lube
This is more of a "if-all-else-fails" type deal, because truthfully, I think flavored lube tastes real nasty. But then again, I do like the taste of penis and ass, and if you don’t like those two things, then well, maybe you’ll like flavored lube, ya know?
13. Pro-tip: enthusiasm is more important than technique
Make some noise and get into it! I mean, don’t go over-the-top and fake it, but if you’re getting into it, that honestly is more important than technique. If you are using the best technique but aren’t enthusiastic, it’s not going to be a great BJ.
14. Watch some blowjob porn and see what you’re into
The great (and terrible) world of porn exists! Go ahead and watch it. See what the giver does that you find hot. See what the receiver does that you find hot. Of course, most of porn is performative and doesn't translate well to real-life sex and intimacy. But there may be a few things you notice that you hadn’t thought of before that you could then incorporate into your own routine.
15. If it’s still not for you—don’t do it!
Sure, it may be a deal breaker for some guys, but if you’ve given it the good ol’ college try, and still (despite everything) really dislike giving head, then don’t do it. It’s as simple as that! There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
| 12/28/23
