Top or bottom: What your astrological sign reveals about your sex life
| 09/27/24
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These days, it seems like everyone judges everyone based on their Zodiac signs. Scorpios avoid Libras because they drive them crazy. Aries are supposedly toxic for Pisces because they don’t like to be told what to do. Everybody hates on the Geminis, and as a Gemini myself, I call favoritism.
Regardless of your role in the bedroom, here’s what your astrological star sign says about your love life. Feel free to check your Sun, Moon, and Rising, or run a natal report if you’re not sure what those are or how to find them.
As always, take whatever resonates, and leave the rest behind.
For you, sex and play are one and the same. There’s an eager, fired-up quality to your fucking: No matter how many times you’ve performed a specific act or fooled around with a certain Grindr fling, you climb into bed like it’s the very first time. Your pleasure always comes first, but you relish the high of returning the favor.
Sex position: Total top or power bottom. Either way, you call the shots.
An extravagant dinner full of aphrodisiacs and a deliberately drawn-out tease are your pleasure-centric choices for how you approach dating and hooking up. You’re slow and methodical in the bedroom, but your lovers know that’s a pro, not a con. Sex is meant to be a multi-sensory experience, henny!
Sex position: Two words…service top.
Arousal is as much a mental experience as it is physical, and no one understands that better than your Mercury-ruled sign. You love the chase—crafting the perfectly worded Lex ad, pursuing a hottie who catches your eye at the gay bar—and when your mind and body are fully engaged, you’re as eager to please as you are to receive.
Sex position: Top-leaning vers—but with the right partner, you’ll try just about anything.
You’re known on the streets for your sweet, reserved demeanor (thank your ruling planet, the Moon), but between the sheets, you crave intensity. For you, sex is an all-consuming thrill…and ultimate expression of vulnerability. That’s not to say you can’t do casual. You can, so long as you and your hookup are both willing to let your guard down.
Sex position: Bottom, possibly submissive or into kink.
Your hottest hookups transport you beyond the confines of your body or circumstance. Naturally creative, you pride yourself in your willingness to experiment in bed. You’re no stranger to a stoned makeout sesh or poppers-aided fuck, and you delight in knowing that no two sexual encounters will ever be exactly the same. (How boring would that be?)
Sex position: Vers.
Category is…strategy. Goal-oriented inside and outside of the bedroom, you approach fucking with the meticulousness and determination of a true tactician. You hit that sweet spot every time, and your stamina is sure to nab you tens across the board, not that anyone’s keeping score.
Sex position: Top or top-leaning vers.
There’s something inherently unconventional about your sex life (beyond your queerness, that is). Whether you lean more kinky than vanilla or simply attract people who are your total opposites, you appreciate how physical desire can be simultaneously connective and transgressive. You’re more likely than most to seek community based on your sexual interests—think play parties or online groups.
Sex position: Vers, possibly into kink.
Stereotyped as the sex lovers of the zodiac, Scorpio placements tend to be pretty libindinous (in medical astrology, this Mars-ruled sign does govern over the genitals, after all). But for you, physical desire goes much deeper than surface-level attraction. To truly escape into sensual pleasure, you need some level of emotional connection with a partner—or at the very least, a shared sexual fantasy.
Sex position: Top-leaning vers. You’re selective about who you let in, pun intended.
If love is a battlefield, you’re in it to win, and you usually do. Unafraid to lean into your most carnal desires, you have no problem asking for what you want in bed and encourage your lovers to do the same. Patience isn’t your strong suit in any area of life, including sex, but what you lack in stamina, you easily make up for in passion.
Sex position: Top.
You give good 9 to 5 in your public life, but beneath your boss-bitch, no-bullshit exterior is the heart of a true romantic. You’re an indulgent, highly tactile lover in even the most casual of hookups, and if you catch feelings (*gasp*), you shamelessly spoil your partner. Work hard, play hard!
Sex position: Bottom-leaning vers.
Naturally curious, you’re one to get to know a potential hookup before getting them off. You love a little intellectual sparring and basically consider witty banter a form of foreplay. Your ideal partner? Someone who isn’t afraid to laugh with you in bed—after you’ve ravaged each other to the point of speechlessness, of course.
Sex position: True vers.
For you, sex is best when you’re truly comfortable. Whether you deck your bed out in bougie linens, always offer to host hookups, or tend to fall into bed with friends, you need some level of emotional or material security in order to fully let loose.
Sex position: Bottom.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.