People cheat. Far more than we care to admit. There are times when you shouldn’t take back a cheater, and there are times when you should. Not all acts of infidelity are created equal. Here are the times when you should take him back.
The only thing worse than a cheater is a liar. If he confesses the day after he cheated, hear him out. See what he says before writing him off.
“I don’t know,” isn’t going to cut it. “Because I was horny,” isn’t going to cut it. What’s wrong in the relationship? What does he feel he’s missing? Has he felt distance between you two? Has he been stressed at work? Does he feel you haven’t been listening to him? What’s the truth behind the cheat? If he’s willing to tell you, and then work on it, maybe he deserves another chance.
Make sure he’s not using this as an excuse, but sometimes, it’s unclear which extracurricular activities are acceptable. Clarify them and move on.
Saying, “I was drunk” is not a get out of jail free card, but it does provide some insight. If he cheated sober, then he knew what he was doing. He was in control. He let it happen. But if he was drunk, he might not have been in his right state of mind. It’s your right to tell him he’s cut off from drinking until he can get his act together.
If he tells you of his act of infidelity, and you feel as if you can never trust him again, then you have to break up with him. If you feel that you can still trust him (that’s not to say he won’t have to re-earn parts of your trust again), then you can potentially take him back.
Fool me once, shame on you. There is no fool me twice. If it’s his first time, and he meets the other conditions, then you can cut him some slack. But if he fucks up twice. He’s donezo.
Now these conditions don’t mean automatically take him back with open arms. Just remember people make mistakes. If he feels bad, didn’t mean to do it, told you why he did it, and promises never to cheat again, then maybe he deserves a second chance.
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