15 Things NOT To Bring Up On Your First Date

In general, dating is a unfortunate beast that requires way too much tending, but first dates are a whole other ball game.

Unless you’re a Shane McCutcheon (which, let’s be real, none of us are), you’re going to be at least somewhat uncomfortable by the prospect, so why not brush up on some things that you should keep from talking about on the first date.

1. Don’t bring up your ex-girlfriend.

She doesn’t want to hear about her.

2. Don’t bring up your religious views.

Unless you two met on Christian Mingle, then BY ALL MEANS.

3. Don’t bring up celebrities you hate.

You could hit a soft spot by hating someone she absolutely loves and completely alienate her.

4. Don’t bring up your love OR hate for certain book/move franchises.

You can let your freak flag fly about your Lord of the Rings obsession on the second date. Reign it in on the first one.

5. Don’t bring up your favorite sport teams.

You probably won’t have the same favorite, and nobody really gives a shit about you favorite team unless it’s theirs too.

6. Don’t bring up your financial situation.

Talking about how poor or rich you are will always make someone who barely knows you uncomfortable.

7. Don’t bring up your love OR hate for cats/dogs.

Probably not going to push any buttons here or end up being a deal breaker, but there happen to be people out there who dislike animals (I know), and recovering from an awkward disagreement on this subject won’t be fun.

8. Don’t bring up your family problems.

More awkward conversations that are hard to recover from. Leave it alone.

9. Don’t bring up how much you hate your job.

That is if you hate your job. There’s nothing one can really say back to a statement like that, so it’s just going to be awkward. Plus, pretty much everyone hates there job, so like…unoriginal.

10. Don’t bring up the fact that she reminds you of somebody.

Especially if that’s your mom. Because if that’s the case maybe don’t go on a second date with her.

11. Don’t bring up the plight of the elephants, pandas, rhinos or whales (or any other endangered species).

Unless you want to have a really depressing conversation.

12. Don’t bring up any weird skin issues you have.

Like skin tags. Rashes. Creepy moles. What have you. Keep that to yourself. She’ll see it if you end up having sex, so just cross that bridge when you get there.

13. Don’t bring up any bad piercing stories, especially ones where your shit healed badly.

Because it’s fucking gross.

14. Don’t bring up your ear wax type.

Because that makes you seem really weird. You can find another fascinating conversation to have. Don’t be the weirdo.

15. Don’t bring up Big Agra

You can talk about being a vegan, or supporting the vegan agenda, but leave out the fact that Big Agra & methane gas from cattle farming has surpassed the green house gas emissions of all the CO2 created from industrialization.  Seriously, this conversation gets heated. I’ve been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years, and we’ve been debating this subject for 2+ hours. And we’re on the same side.

Any other bright ideas you guys have, that are actually really bad first date topics? Share them with us in the comments below!