Start your engines! The premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars is finally here! Just days after the 2024 Paris Olympic Games came to a close, the Olympics of Drag is here to take over!
The inaugural RPDR Global All Stars pits 12 queens, all previous competitors on the global Drag Race series, against each other for a chance to win a spot in the International Pavilion of the RPDR Hall of Fame and $200,000 cold, hard cash.
As RuPaul said in the announcement for the series, "The international mix of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will — pardon my French — blow your fucking minds." The most mind-blowing aspect so far is that just two episodes in, it seems Global All Stars already has a queen embracing her 'menace' era — but it might only be the fans who are shocked by who it is.
For those unfamiliar, meet Tessa Testicle. The 26-year-old Swiss drag queen placed 8th on the first season of Drag Race Germany, snatched our hearts in the process, and is back for a chance at international acclaim. She's also got a successful OnlyFans account under the moniker "Mr. Testicle" if you're nasty.
Her designation as "the drama" of the season might be shocking to viewers, but to her fellow competitors it's no surprise. The other queens have all been jokingly shading Tessa since the press tour began! In an interview with PRIDE, Eva Le Queen (Drag Race Phillipines Season 1), Athena Likis (Drag Race Belgique Season 1), Alyssa Edwards (RuPaul's Drag Race Season 5/RPDR All Stars Season 2), Pythia (Canada's Drag Race Season 2), Gala Varo (Drag Race Mexico Season 1), Nehellenia (Drag Race Italia Season 2), and Tessa Testicle herself all played a game of FMA: that's f*ck, marry, avoid and one name in particular was on their lips when it came to the later category, Miss Testicle.
Alyssa Edwards in particular had us giggling. "I'm going to avoid Tessa Testicle because it might be a single white female situation going on over here. This lady's trying to take all of my gigs, my drag, my identity," she laughs. "I gotta be careful with her. If I go missing. Y'all know who to call. Kween [Kong] , you're my sister. I want y'all to call the embassy and say, 'Call Tessa, she's got Alyssa locked up over there!'"
Tessa also got to play the game as well, and her response had us giggling, too "Okay, I'm gonna marry Pythia. She is hot, and she knows how to deal with money. Um, I will fuck Kween Kong because she's the only top, and I will avoid... I will avoid Santino Rice."
Is Tessa Testicle dramatic, or is she just too real? Marry Pythia and f*ck Kween Kong are both respectable answers, and any hater of Santino Rice is a friend of mine.
But it's all in jest! All good fun! I mean, Tessa was on the very same Zoom call, it's not like this was said behind anyone's back. Tessa also is enjoying embracing the chaos and the drama and even posted this meme to X (formerly Twitter) just yesterday to prove it! She IS a star, baby!
When I reached out to Tessa this morning for a comment on what she thought about her chaotic, dramatic, menace era, her response was touching, thoughtful, and illuminating:
"I genuinely don't feel like I was ever put in a malicious light," she tells PRIDE. "Going into Global All Stars, I actually made a vow to myself. You see, on Drag Race Germany, I was not the same Tessa. I shrunk myself out of fear of rejection. The result was less than pleasant. This time, I truthfully just wanted to be myself: Loud. Bratty. Messy. But never mean-spirited. So I couldn't have asked for a more fun edit! And what better scene partner to have than the Overlady of Meme, Alyssa Edwards."
We love it! We love when the shade is light and fun, and from all accounts thats exactly what we can expect this season. And we can't wait to see Tessa truly be herself. Going into this competition with that mindset, to be so committed to your own voice, spirit, and authenticity, is something more queens should embrace. We feel something iconic coming on!
RPDR Global All Stars airs every Friday on Paramount+ . The first two episodes are available to stream now! To hold you over until episode 3, you can hear some thoughts from the Overlady of Meme herself right now below.
