Trans icon Nicole Maines on her new memoir & how she's feeling post-election: 'I have rage'

Maines is an actress, trans activist, graphic novelist, and now highly successful memoirist. Her new memoir, It Gets Better...Except When It Gets Worse: And Other Unsolicited Truths I Wish Someone Had Told Me, came out on October 15th of this year and is a national best seller. In it, she gets to finally share her experience from her point of view, complete with all the detours, twists, and turns life takes along the way.

Maines was kind enough to offer an interview about the wisdom she's gleaned as a public trans figure, the trans people she'd love to hear wisdom from, and how she's feeling after the results of the 2024 Presidential election.

PRIDE: You've been a very public trans figure for over a decade, why did you want to write this book now?

NICOLE MAINES: It was actually something that came up during [the earliest part of] the pandemic, you know, when we weren’t sure we would ever leave the house again? My book agents had reached out to me and suggested that it was the perfect time to start working on a memoir, where I could finally tell my story in my words, the way that I wanted. And with no end to the quarantine in sight, I agreed!

The book takes a lot of detours, and makes a lot of pit stops for things like the gay origins of The Little Mermaid or your gratitude for Black women in media. Were there any diatribes or soap box speeches that got cut that you wish there was more space for?

What? Detours? Me? Unthinkable! Actually, I was very gladly surprised that I was able to get it all in! There really wasn’t anything that ended up needed to be cut, but now, of course, that the book is out, I’ve started remembering all sorts of stories and anecdotes that I didn’t even think to include that I’m totally kicking myself for leaving out! Typical…

Trans people get asked a lot of banal, invasive, or incredibly misinformed questions about our experiences constantly. There are a lot of questions I'm sure you wish people would stop asking about your experience. What's something you wish people asked you about, or asked you about more?

I wish people asked us more about what we want to be when we grow up. I wish people would care more about what we want to do with our lives, and where we want to go, and what we think, and what we do for fun. So much focus is on our bodies, and on how we could pose some kind of hypothetical danger to some hypothetical sports team. I wish we were seen for our humanity, rather than just being trans.

Especially in this past election we have seen, even worse than before, a concentrated effort to demonize trans people and paint a picture of us as something to be afraid of. I wish people were more willing to look past the obvious attempts at fear mongering and recognize that we all just want to live happy, safe lives.

You've written a memoir, you've written and published a graphic novel, do you see yourself writing and publishing more in the future? Any chance you'll revisit your romance writing days from high school? Any genres you'd like to dip your toes into?

Oh yeah, I’m down for anything. I try my best to stay open to new opportunities and to say “yes” to as much as I can. I’d really like to get back into the horror genre, whether that’s acting or writing comics or something else. I feel like that’s a sandbox I haven’t gotten to play in nearly as much as I would like. Maybe something with witches I don’t know. Stay tuned.

If you could have any other trans people share similar words of wisdom with you like you've done now for the trans kids out there today, who would it be?

Oh man, I don’t know. I’ve been fortunate to have met so many incredible trans people, and learn from them and their experiences. Getting to work with Laverne Cox was absolutely a dream come true for me, and getting to sit down and talk with her at length on her podcast was incredible. I think right now, I, and all of us, could really stand to learn from our trans elders, though, who have seen dark times before and have seen us through them before. I think we’re all in a time of fear, and we need to take point from those of us who know a thing or two about fighting to survive in a world that doesn’t want us.

You named your memoir, It Gets Better... Except When it Gets Worse, and right now it's looking like things are going to get worse before they get better. Anything you want to share given the events of the last week, whether that be hope, rage, despair, or all of the above?

Right now, I have rage. Republicans told us in no uncertain terms what they stood for and what they planned to do when they got power. And now, our community is in more danger than we have been in years. We knew exactly what was at stake and still there are queer people who threw our community under the bus. All I have to say is that if you are one of those people who voted for Trump, third party, or not at all, do not show your ass at Pride. You are not a friend or ally to our community. You do not get to share in our joy when you knowingly vote for our oppression.

If you'd like to hear more from Maines, she has an event tonight at the Beverly Hills Public Library starting at 7 PST. Tickets are available here.

This conversation has been edited for clarity.