Are you on the aromantic spectrum? What that means and why it matters explained

What is aromanticism?

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation in which a person experiences little to no romantic attraction. While some aromantic individuals may engage in relationships, they do not experience the desire for romance in the way that society typically defines it. Others may feel neutral or even repulsed by romantic interactions.

"It’s common that people being on the aromantic spectrum engage extra much in other types of relationships rather than romantic ones, for example by investing a lot in platonic relationships, or queer platonic relationships.relationships," says Roos.

The aromantic spectrum (arospec) includes a variety of identities, such as:

• Greyromantic: Occasionally or rarely experiencing romantic attraction.
• Demiromantic: Only experiencing romantic attraction after forming a deep emotional bond.
• Lithromantic: Feeling romantic attraction but not wanting it reciprocated.
• Quoiromantic: Having difficulty distinguishing between romantic and non-romantic attraction.

Aromanticism exists independently of sexual orientation explains Roos. "A common misunderstanding is that being on the aromantic spectrum is about sexual attraction, but it’s about romantic attraction, so many people being on the spectrum does still have interest in being sexual, and can get turned on, even though there’s combinations of being on the aromantic spectrum and being asexual as well," she says. While some aromantic individuals are also asexual (experiencing little to no sexual attraction), others identify as gay, bisexual, heterosexual, or any other sexual orientation. The diversity within the aromantic community highlights the need for broader discussions about different ways people experience attraction and relationships.

Why Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week matters

Society often romanticizes the idea that a person’s life is incomplete without romantic love. This can leave aromantic individuals feeling misunderstood, invalidated, or pressured to pursue relationships that don’t align with their identity. ASAW aims to break these assumptions and highlight the legitimacy of aromantic experiences.

For many aromantic individuals, growing up means navigating a world that constantly tells them they will "find the right person someday" or "just need to open their heart." These misconceptions can lead to feelings of alienation, self-doubt, or the pressure to force themselves into romantic relationships that don’t feel authentic. By increasing awareness and challenging misconceptions, ASAW fosters greater inclusion and understanding, ensuring that aromantic people feel seen and valued.

Am *I* aromantic?

If you're reading this, there is a good chance you're looking to discover or understand something about yourself. If you suspect that you lie somewhere on this spectrum, Roos says there are some tell tale signs.

Romantic relationships in media are unrelatable. "One of the most obvious signs is that you’re having a hard time identifying yourself with romantic relationships when you see them in movies, hear about relationships in music, read about them and hear your friends and family talk about what it’s like to be in love and together with someone romantically," explains Roos. "For you, this feels strange, far away, not appealing or even makes you feel uncomfortable or disgusted. What seems to be the best you can have for others, a relationship with someone you love, just doesn't click for you, and you’re not into the idea of it."

Differentiating between friendship and love is challenging. "You’re having a hard time telling the difference between platonic love and romantic love, and this often leads to a feeling of confusion where you ask yourself questions such as 'Are we more than friends?' or 'Do I like this person so much I would like to get romantic with them?' and it just feels unclear what romantic love really is," she explains.

You've never felt romantic love. "You haven’t been in love, don’t know if you have been in love or have no idea what it feels like, or should feel like. For you, love is a distant feeling that you can’t imagine or identify yourself with, something that’s a classic sign you’re on the aromantic spectrum," she explains.

Common myths about aromanticism

Many misconceptions about aromanticism still persist, including:

• "Aromantic and asexual are the same thing." While they often overlap, they are distinct orientations. A person can be aromantic and still experience sexual attraction.
• "Aromantics are just afraid of commitment." Aromantic individuals can and do form deep, meaningful connections—whether through friendships, queerplatonic relationships (QPRs), or other forms of intimacy.
• "Aromantic people are lonely or missing out." Aromantics can lead deeply fulfilling lives, forming strong social bonds and prioritizing relationships that bring them joy in ways that don’t revolve around romance.

Challenging these myths is essential in creating a world where people of all orientations feel understood and respected.

How to support the aromantic community

Whether you’re aromantic yourself, questioning your romantic orientation, or an ally looking to help, there are many ways to support the aromantic community during ASAW and beyond.

• Educate yourself and others. Understanding aromanticism is a crucial step in fostering inclusivity. Resources like Aromantic-Official, AUREA (Aromantic Spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy), and Aro Worlds provide valuable insights into aro identities and experiences.
• Challenge amatonormativity, or the societal assumption that everyone desires romantic love and that romantic relationships are superior to all other forms of connection. Recognizing and challenging this mindset can help create a world where friendships, familial bonds, and other forms of relationships are equally celebrated.
• Respect boundaries and identities. If someone in your life identifies as aromantic, support them by validating their experiences rather than insisting they will "find love someday." Respect their boundaries, whether that means avoiding matchmaking attempts or acknowledging their disinterest in romantic narratives.
• Support aro representation in media. Aromantic representation in media remains scarce. Seeking out and promoting books, TV shows, and movies that feature aro characters can help normalize these identities. Claudine Arseneault’s Aromantic Book Recommendations is a great place to start.
• Engage with the aromantic community. Many online spaces provide opportunities to connect with the aromantic community, share experiences, and find support. Arocalypse, Aromantic Talk on Facebook, and r/aromantic on Reddit are some great places for aro-spec individuals and allies to engage in discussion.

Looking ahead: The future of aro visibility

The growing recognition of aromanticism is a sign of progress, but there is still work to be done. Greater representation in media, increased advocacy, and widespread education will continue to push for acceptance and understanding. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is more than just a celebration—it’s a call to action to ensure that all identities are recognized and respected.

No one should feel pressured to conform to societal expectations of romance. ASAW serves as a reminder that love, in all its forms, is valid—and that includes the love found in friendships, passions, and self-acceptance.

For more resources and ways to get involved, visit AUREA, Aro Worlds, and Carnival of Aros.