In the ever-evolving hellscape of reality television, it has been amazing to see a big shift over the past few decades. The days are behind us of queer people, especially lesbians, feeling pressure to maintain a squeaky-clean image while under the scrutiny of the reality TV lens. Whenever a queer person was going to be on reality TV, you just knew they were there to teach the world that we were just like them and they had no reason to fear us! Now, amid this transformative era, queer people have finally earned the freedom to be just as delightfully horrible as our straight counterparts. We get to be toxic, trashy, manipulative, and perfectly imperfect alongside straight people—not just on our own reality shows— and it’s a lovely stride toward genuine representation.
It felt like queer people used to be on reality TV strictly as educators. Pedro Zamora from The Real World: San Francisco told his story during the season. He was an openly gay man with AIDS in the ’90s on a reality show that straight young people loved. He taught a generation to not see gay men as something to fear. Danny Roberts from The Real World: New Orleans taught a generation about the realities of dating as a queer man during The Clinton Administration’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Then in the 2000s Alexis Arquette appeared on The Surreal Life and shone a light on trans people for everyone who was watching in Middle America.
Courtesy of VH1
We've come a long way from just being educators in the realm of reality TV. Shows like RuPaul's Drag Race and Queer Eye marked a turning point with our very own queer-focused shows. It was a dope change that allowed us to be ourselves. These shows were a hit and paved the way for our presence in more mainstream reality television. We ventured into the world of straight reality shows, and the concept of all-queer seasons appeared. The Ultimatum: Queer Love and Are You The One gave us a taste of just how messy we could be.
Now, we are in the midst of a queer reality renaissance, where the Gay (Reality) Agenda has fully come to life. We're not just satisfied with our own dedicated shows; we're infiltrating the straight reality TV world, and it's amazing. Our presence on shows alongside our straight counterparts shows the increasing acceptance (kinda) and recognition of queer folks.
Courtesy of Netflix
Most recently this came to life in a show I just got into this year—90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days. This show is crazy as hell. We watch weekly as people get full ass engaged to people on the other side of the world that they have never met, never seen IRL, and sometimes people that they have never talked to and only texted. This most recent season gave us Statler and Dempsey. Statler showed herself to be a manipulative, slightly pushy, bit of a masc-hole lesbian with attachment issues. It was cringy—and triggering— to watch as she professed her love to someone she’d never met in person, and asked to move in after like a week of spending time together. It’s giving U-Haul Madness.
As much as I hated seeing this on the screen, I loved it at the same time. I have sympathy for the situation but it is also nice to know that the straight folks watching this — and some of the gay boys too — will stop seeing lesbians as hand-holding farmers and realize that Dyke Drama is alive and well.
Showing these toxic queer relationships on a mainstream show like 90 Day Fiancé, it's a chance to break down stereotypes and give viewers a peek into the world of queer love and relationships. It's a way to humanize the experiences of lesbian couples and remind everyone that queer love can be as messy, passionate, and intense. So, as cringe as it can be at times, it's a step towards queer people showing relationships on TV and not having the cloud of outdated stereotypes and expectations hovering around.
Courtesy of TLC
We're no longer letting the heteros escape us, and it's an evolution that reflects a more inclusive world on our screens. It's a testament to progress, showcasing that the queer community can thrive, entertain, and be entirely trashy with our straight peers. The future of reality television is looking incredibly queer, and I’m here for it. Also—Cleo deserves the world and she needs to dump Christian ‘cos he does not deserve her.
Views expressed in PRIDE’s opinion articles are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the views of PRIDE.com or our parent company, equipride.
