The 13 Best & Most Empowering Things About Being Bisexual
| 09/21/23
ZacharyZane_
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So often I (and other bisexual activists) write about all the struggles that come from being bisexual. We discuss how bisexual folks have a higher rate of sexual violence, depression, and anxiety than their straight and gay counterparts. We discuss what it’s like feeling excluded from gay and straight communities. We discuss the challenges of dating and so on.
Today, I want to talk about all the GOOD things that come from being bisexual because honestly, they’re not discussed enough. And when I search bisexuality online it’s depressing AF. So here are 13 of the BEST and EMPOWERING things about being bisexual!
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Being bisexual helps me understand both the male and female perspectives when it comes to relationships. Having had plenty of experience with both, being bisexual has helped me learn how to communicate better in relationships. This, in turn, helps with my understanding and empathy toward others and hopefully makes me a better partner.
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Again, it isn’t easy to be anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. That being said, sometimes choices are to be made. Even though I’m judged and persecuted for my sexuality, it has made me lessen my own judgments against others because I know how it feels. We’re all in this together, fam.
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Just like being more empathetic, my bisexuality has helped me to see the good in everybody. This life is lonely, especially for anyone who falls anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Sometimes, people struggle with the “B,” so being bisexual has helped me look for the good in everyone, even when they won’t do the same.
Bisexuality isn’t black or white. It doesn’t mean we like men and women equally. It means we like multiple genders to various degrees. Being able to see all the shades of gray in my sexual identity, has translated to being able to see shades of gray in other aspects of my life.
I no longer view the people in my life as needing to strictly fall under platonic friend or sexual partner. There are different types of love, attractions, and connections I have with various people. I don’t need to categorize my relationships and put them into a box.
In the years I was closeted, I experienced confusion and self-loathing nearly every day. I couldn’t sleep. I had to be intoxicated to have sex with men. I was an anxious mess. When I finally came out and was honest about my sexuality, I realized what’s actually important in life. While it sounds cliché, it’s good people and good relationships. I no longer have time for people who don’t accept and embrace me for who I am.
I love being part of gay, queer, and bisexual communities. I love being able to meet and hang out with other queer individuals. Queers are my favorite of all people!
I think there’s something heartwarming in this sentiment. Bisexual people can see the beauty in everyone. If you believe we’re all made in God’s image, then I’d even go as far to say that we see the godliness in everyone.
So many people still doubt and question my sexuality. Because of this, I take people at their word. I believe transgender folks when they say they’re trans, because just like them, I’ve been questioned and dismissed for a fundamental part of my identity. And I think this mentality extends beyond gender, too.
Being intimate with people of all genders has made me more aware of myself and my partners during sex. Because of this, I truly think I’m able to connect more. Also, there’s some research to back this up. Dr. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli of Deakin University recently published a book titled, Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men: Bi Men by Women. In it, she discusses the results of her interviews with 78 women, all of whom were either dating, married, or previously dated bisexual men. Interviewees reported that bi men make the best lovers for the reasons that I mentioned!
Not everyone who’s bisexual is sexually diverse, but I absolutely am, and I think my bisexuality plays a large part in that. I’m able to explore various sexual activities with folks of all genders.
I felt forced to exist outside the heteronormative world for being a more gay-presenting bisexual man. This forced me to challenge all aspects of heteronormativity.
I didn’t realize I was bisexual for a long period of time. It required a lot of questioning and introspection. In order to embrace my bisexuality (which I really needed to do in order to live a healthy and authentic life) I had to become introspective. But now, the desire and ability to be introspective is still a large part of who I am.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.