How Brendan Jordan Found Liberation Through Makeup & Beauty

The rise of social media has been a significant way for people to connect, learn about new ideas, and find community. But like many good things, it has its dark side, too. It can make us come to rely too much on the opinions of others, creates the potential for being judged on a larger scale, and experts have already started diving into the possible link between social media usage and depression, particularly in young people.

Actress and video creator Brendan Jordan (her/him) knows that double-edged sword all too well. After going viral for dancing behind a reporter back in 2014, she was thrust into the public eye and had to learn how to cope with the increased scrutiny such sudden attention brings.

“They would say I was setting the gay movement 50 years back, is what was told to me, at 15,” he says in Pride Media’s Love, Me series, intended to highlight stories of people persevering in the face of treatment-resistant depression. “You go on the internet and you see, oh shoot, the community you look up to and aspire to be like one day is rejecting you a bit. And I think my experience with social media is I would internalize a lot of rude things that I would experience.”

But at the same time, social media has allowed Jordan to follow her passion as a makeup artist and personality who has worked with Miley Cyrus on Happy Hippie #InstaPride and served as a brand ambassador for Lady Gaga’s Haus Labs Line.

Although he had some success with medication for the depression he’s suffered, the YouTuber also found self-expression through makeup to be another form of “liberation” from the feelings of sadness and emptiness.

“Makeup for me has been so many things. And it has also helped me discover things about me too,” she explains. “I think makeup has a lot to do with identity.”

Listening to people with a large platform and with the whole world at their fingertips (Lady Gaga and Oprah both come to Jordan’s mind) open up about their struggles with mental health has also provided a reminder to him that, regardless of what outlet or treatment helps people cope with depression, it’s a lifelong journey to learn to love yourself.

“It’s not a destination,” she says. “It’s a part of life. It’s about what you do every day to show love for yourself by listening to yourself, I’m learning every single day, and I don’t want to ever come across as an enlightened know-it-all, because I am a mess. I am a beautiful mess and I love it.”

If you have or are contemplating suicide, please know there is a well of support out there to help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 can be reached 24 hours a day by people of all ages and identities. If you are a trans or gender-nonconforming person considering suicide, the Trans Lifeline can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The Trevor Project is the world's largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger). Trained counselors at the Trevor Project Lifeline can be reached 24/7 at (866) 488-7386, by texting START to 678678, or via the TrevorChat instant messaging service at TheTrevorProject.org/Help.

Shoot Location: Slash Studios