15 problems bisexual girls deal with
| 09/18/20
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Being a bi girl isn't easy.
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From unaccepting family members to friends that just don't get it, it can be hard to fit in. These 15 problems are just a few of the things we have to deal with throughout our lives...
(Oh, and if we left one of your problems out, feel free to let us know in the comments!)
Being fetishized by men
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Bisexual girls are often treated like our sexuality is only there to please men, or that each time we get into bed with one we're expected to be okay with another girl joining. Sometimes fetishes are hot. This one is not.
You're more likely to be shamed for domestic violence
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People assume that because we have the option to "choose between" having a male or a female partner, that it's more our fault when we fall into an abusive relationship with a man because we "could have" chosen a women instead. There's so many issues with this, but it's just so much no. Never shame anyone for domestic violence, regardless of any factor.
People think you struggle with monogamy
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The same people who would shame you for domestic violence would also probably assume that you have one girlfriend and one boyfriend at all times, or that you'd struggle with monogamy (if that was something both you and your partner wanted anyway.)
Repeatedly questioning yourself
We've all been there. Your sexuality feels a little mixed up and confusing, so you have no idea how to identify yourself. The good news is: no one gets to decide if you are or aren't bi except yourself! So go ahead. If "bisexual" feels right, then it's right for you!
People say you're either all straight or all gay
This can be especially bad for bisexual girls. When we say we're dating a boy, people assume we're straight. Then, if we break up and date a girl, people assume we're strictly gay. Why can't we sit on a spectrum of sexual attraction? Just because I like all kinds of people doesn't mean I'm "really" straight or "really" just a repressed gay girl.
You don't know if you're "gay enough" to come out
If you're a bi girl who's mostly attracted to guys, coming out can feel like a weird idea. Why come out to your family and friends if, realistically, you think you'll never date another girl? Homophobic and biphobic pressure keeps us in the closet, even though we should be able to express our sexual identity freely and openly.
Your family says it's "just a phase"
Even if you do come out, your family thinks you're just "experimenting" and will somehow become straight. As if your bisexuality popped up randomly and just needs a few years to go away. Sure, whatever.
You're bisexual "for the attention"
Yes, because I don't really care about my lovers and partners, I just want to score some likes on social media. Yawn. This one has been around for awhile, and despite the fact it's been thoroughly debunked, it's pervasive.
Crushing on your best friend
Oh jeez. Been there, done that. There's nothing as bittersweet as falling for your best friend. Unless, of course, she feels the same way. Then it's just sweet!
It's tough finding representation
Lesbian and gay characters and celebrities are more visible than ever. But what about bisexual folks? We do get some support here and there, but by and large it seems like we simply get overshadowed in the grand scheme of things. If not erased altogether.
Girls don't pick up you're flirting with them...
Ugh, no! I mean, your dress is cute, but it's only cute because you're the one wearing it. Why is it so difficult flirting with other girls?
...or read too much into things when you aren't
Ugh, no! I mean, I'm not really into you like that! But your dress is super cute. Guh, why is complimenting other people so hard?
Your sex life is much duller than people think
"But you're attracted to boys and girls! It must be so easy to score a catch." Nope, wrong. Just because the sea is wider doesn't mean you catch more fish. Bisexual women come with all sorts of preferences, everything from hook-ups to serious monogamous relationships. That's what's so important about bisexual visibility: We need to show people that being bi means a variety of things.
It's hard fitting in
Too gay for your straight friends, too straight for your gay friends. Sometimes it can be hard to find your own friend group, especially if you find yourself in a community that's simply unsupportive.
Hiding the "bisexual agenda"
They're onto us. They figured out we want to have brunches in every high school and a bisexual in every home.
But no, seriously, it can be difficult living in a world that isn't very accepting of bi people. With LGBTQ+ politics front and center, we're often inaccurately represented in the media. Or otherwise treated as unequal. Sometimes a little bit of humor is the best way to get by.
