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Identities

9 Struggles You Know If It's Hard for You to Make New Gay Friends

Finding new friends is hard. Finding new gay friends can be even harder!

Rachel Charlene Lewis

Rachel Charlene Lewis is a writer, editor, and queer woman of color based in North Carolina. Her writing has most recently appeared in Ravishly, Hello Giggles, and elsewhere.

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Rachel Charlene Lewis

RachelCharleneL

July 22 2020 3:34 PM EST

November 08 2024 4:43 AM EST

If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you know one essential truth: finding queer friends is *so* hard, and way harder than you ever could have expected.

It isn’t that there aren’t enough of us. More millennials than any other group identify as openly queer, and less than 50% of teens even identify as straight! Still, though, finding other LGBTQ+ friends is no walk in the park. If you’ve had luck with it, we bow at your feet, but for the rest of us—this one’s for you.

1. When you try and figure out if your friend is queer, too

2. When you try to figure out HOW TF to even ask if they're queer

3. When you manage to ask if they’re queer and they say no

4. When you manage to ask if they’re queer and THEY SAY YES

5. When you’re too wimpy to ask, so you rely on stereotypes to guess and are filled with guilt

6. When you both go to your first queer bar together

7. When you go to a queer bar together and they get all the baes

8. When you invite them over to watch Netflix and chill, and they want to NETFLIX AND CHILL