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There's still many myths and half-truths floating around about being a transgender woman.
These days, trans women are more visible than ever in mainstream media. But despite all the press coverage we receive on bathroom bills and locker rooms, there's still many myths and half-truths floating around about our gender identity. Here are 10 common myths that seem to have been embeded into our culture, and why they're so patently untrue.
1. It’s all about sexual pleasure
Honey, no. Just, no. Trans women transition because they experience gender dysphoria, a condition where one's gender is not their assigned sex. Without transitioning, trans women can feel anxiety, loneliness, depression, low self-esteem, and so much more. Transitioning isn’t about sexual pleasure, it’s about being true to yourself.
2. The changes of Hormone Replacement Therapy (or HRT) are minor
Estrogen and antiandrogens bring major changes to a trans woman’s body. Estradiol softens skin, makes pupils larger, changes hair texture, alters fat distribution, and causes breast development. It’s called transitioning for a reason!
3. Your sex drive stays the same
When a trans woman starts HRT, estrogen changes a lot about her body, including her sexuality. A lot of us see a huge drop in our sex drive, preceded by a sharp rise, and then a leveling off after awhile. Others see regular highs and lows. Regardless, our sex drive is in constant fluctuation during those few early years, contrasting significantly from before we started HRT.
4. Sexuality is not fluid
Transitioning changes most of our relationships with sexuality. For one, I was exclusively attracted to cisgender women before I transitioned. But as I began my transitioning, my sexuality changed. I became attracted to cisgender men, trans men, gender nonconforming folks, and trans women. Granted, my attraction has largely been towards women even after transitioning, but my sexuality did change and has become much less strict.
5. Genitalia does not change during HRT
One of the major changes that trans women experience is a change to the way their privates work. To be blunt, estrogen feminizes a penis. This can lead to shorter erections, a softer texture, and, depending on the way a given person uses their junk, a decrease in the size of their penis from atrophying. Hence one of the reasons why the whole “trans bathroom panic” is ridiculous. Even those of us that do still have some extra junk below have been exposed to estrogen, so it’s not really the same as a cis man’s hardware. For a bit more information, check out Dr. Michele O’Mara’s look at the effects of feminizing hormones.
6. We only work in tech or art
Trans women are everywhere. From athletics to journalism, teaching to running for office, if there’s a job you can think of, a trans woman has probably worked in it before. Yes, it’s true many of us gravitate towards certain fields, but it’s not as if we only fit into two or three neat categories. Some of us prefer working from home, some of us don’t. We’re all individuals with different tastes and ambitions.
7. Transitioning ends with surgery
Uh, no. Surgery is a highly personal choice, one that a lot of trans women think about throughout their lives. Choosing to or not to go under the knife is dictated by a lot of considerations, largely including the level in which one experiences dysphoria towards their genitals and privates. Many of us choose not to go through reassignment surgeries and cosmetic changes, just as many of us do. Both decisions are valid, but the key here is honoring our privacy.
8. Trans women only date cis men
Trans women are all over the sexuality spectrum. From asexual to poly, straight to gay, we identify as anything and everything under the sun. It’s not uncommon to see a cis woman and a trans woman dating, or two trans women together, or a trans woman bachelorette. Different strokes for different folks. Literally.
9. It’s okay to disclose someone else’s trans status
The concept of “stealth” has always been a controversial one in the trans community, but even if you feel trans women should be loud and open about their gender identity, it’s important to respect every individual’s wishes. There’s a good reason why we might not want to disclose that we’re trans in certain workplaces or public spaces: we need to maintain our own safety first and foremost. Likewise, if someone is beginning their transitioning and still in the closet, don’t attempt to push them out. That can be extremely damaging for their long-term progress.
10. No one will accept us
Many of us are surrounded by friends, family, lovers, and coworkers that take us seriously and treat us as the wonderful women we are. Sure, everyone’s experiences vary. But society is changing, people are becoming more accepting, and many of us live happy, healthy, and, occasionally, boring lives. It’s just not true that no one will accept us; there’s so many people out there who do.
