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10 Cannabis Gifts for the Queer Stoner
You know how for Christmas, Hanukkah, your birthday, truly whatever holiday, we all just want cash? Well, for the queer stoner, that's weed money. The $50 your grandma slipped into a Christmas card is buying weed. Your grandma gave you weed for Christmas.
Anyways, if you're friends with a 420-friendly babe (or are one yourself) and are looking for some cannabis products that pass the glam test, cruise through for ten of my favorite currently on the market!
1. Foria Explore
Foria Explore cannabis rectal suppositories are a must-have for any stoner who enjoys anal sex. Anyone who bottoms knows that proper preparation is required, and a weed suppository is what your ass didn't know it was missing. Insert one about 30 minutes or so up your butt using your finger (or have your partner do it) and allow it to absorb. The cannabis acts as a soothing balm for any discomfort (without numbing you out) and is also an anti-inflammatory. Foria Explore is latex-friendly, so you can not only enjoy stoned sex, but safe stoned sex.
2. A tincture from La Vida Verde
I adore cannabis tinctures because, like edibles, you don't need to inhale anything to enjoy the experience, but they're faster acting (about 20 minutes to an hour, rather than up to two hours). La Vida Verde tinctures are available in an Indica for when you want to relax, a Sativa for when you need an energy boost, and a one to one CBD/THC ratio for when you're simply looking for some calming anxiety or pain relief. Each bottle has 300mg of THC.
3. A Jane West compact
Have you ever been turned away at a festival, or caught by the pigs for a little marijuana? Ugh, it's so lame that it's still a Schedule I substance on a federal level. Regardless of your reason for discretion, the Jane West Compact looks just like a make-up compact. It comes with two separate compartments for various strains, a lighter, and a little metal tool if you need to unclog any holes (I'm talking about smoking devices, pervs).
4. Oleo tea mix
Oleo tea mixes are cute pouches filled with CBD and tea (with both caffeinated and un-caffeinated options). Simply pour a pouch into iced water or hot water and enjoy the extra health benefits and a boost of CBD in your tea.
5. A Papa and Barkley releaf patch
Papa and Barkley are a cannabis company most famous for their "releaf balms," but they also make these fabulous transdermal patches. They're perfect to apply to your muscles if you're sore from the gym, a hot sex session, or sometimes I put them across my abdomen when I have period cramps. The effects last for up to 12 hours, and the patches are available in pure CBD, one-to-one CBD and THC, three-to-one CBD and THC, and three-to-one THC to CBD depending on how psychoactive of an effect you're interested in.
6. An Eden Extracts Diamond Line cartridge
I don't care how douchey the word "vape" may sound—they are fabulous and allow for a discrete cannabis inhalation experience that is easier on the lungs and easier to sneak into concerts than bud. Perhaps the most fabulous cannabis vape cartridges of them all are Eden Extracts Diamond Line, which comes in strains from "Wedding Cake" to "Forbidden Fruit." So glam!
7. Some Stillwater Clockwork coffee
Did you see the slide on tea and think "Tea is gossip! I'm a coffee girl!" If so, Stillwater has your back. (They make great teas too, for those interested). But back to coffee! I caught up with an ex once over these. It's instant coffee that doesn't taste like shit, and each bag contains 10mg of THC.
8. Huxton Full Spectrum essential oil pens
One of the biggest "stoner problems" is repeating an experience. By that, I mean that even the same strain, due to how or where it's grown, can make you feel differently. So those Northern Lights that felt like a hug from Kristen Stewart you had while in Amsterdam might give you a panic attack when you get it from your local delivery guy. Huxton is aiming to create reliable, repeatable, experiences, both with their all-flower pre-rolls and pens (which I prefer just because they let me be sneaky about my smoking). They come in "Rise," meant to keep you uplifted and focused, "Hi-FI," for energy and euphoria, and "Zen," for relaxation.
9. Herbal beverages from Mood33
How dope is it that you can drink weed? Mood33 makes cannabis tonics, in a variety of flavors and experiences, such as passion, joy, and calm. Pour one into a champagne glass and toast to the new year!
10. Sativa Skincare's hemp hair conditioner
Mary Jane is magic because it doesn't just get you stoned, it can make you prettier. Sativa is a line of body products that uses hemp, meaning you can buy this in any state, but still glam up like a stoner. They make shampoo and body wash too, but I find the conditioner especially nourishing.
