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7 Tips for Surviving the Holidays as a LGBTQ Person
Straight people don't understand the struggle of visiting queerphobic family over the holidays. Like, hey, it's cute that you moved in with your boyfriend, dear cousin, and congrats on the new dog, mom and dad, and great to hear about your back, uncle, but remember when you called me a fag when I was a child and touched me inappropriately? Was that too harsh? Well, for many LGBTQ people, it's the reality.
Some of us have loving blood family who we look forward to spending the winter holidays with. Others do not, and would rather spend it with chosen family talking shit about people over some weed. So from skipping it all together to sneaking in spa breaks, here are seven ways to survive the holidays as an LGBTQ person.
1. Celebrate with your chosen family
For many queer folks, going home to blood family isn't an option. Or, if it is, it means homophobic jokes from your drunk uncle and biting your tongue for the sake of avoiding a fist fight in front of your sweet potato-eating grandma. Skipping time with the family you were born into during the holidays is taboo. It also can come with a guilt trip from your mother or siblings. But listen to me: You're allowed to be yourself. That's what you were born to be. And if you're a queer person (or any other opressed minority, really), being yourself means knocking out cultural stereotypes and a hard battle. If you're living a life away from your blood relatives, with chosen family that loves you for who you truly are, not despite it, for David Bowie's sake, please celebrate with them!
2. Celebrate in a non-traditional way
I spent Thanksgiving at a queer fam weed party dressed in some goth gear, and will likely do Christmas at a Pagan party. What are you in the mood for? Karaoke? Movie night? Christmas is impossible to ignore, but if Christianity isn't your thing, don't force yourself to make it happen. Or, you could just throw the gayest sweater party ever, except obviously, no one will wear an ugly one.
3. Do nothing
Here's a fun way to survive Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever tradition you were born into but don't connect with for all my queer introverts: literally ignore it. Like, get stoned and stay in with your pet and Netflix and chill with some Seamless. Sexy Jesus approves.
4. Remember, this too shall pass
Some of us have to go home to our blood family. Maybe grandma is really sick and despite some of the other khaki-wearing fart heads you're related to, grandma is a stylish bitch who you love and you want to see her. You can make it through a few days for the sake of the goodness. All things pass. Drink extra wine if you need to. You'll be back at a party covered in glitter for New Year's in no time.
5. Be extra AF
You know, if you're white and you're going home to some Trump-supporting blood relatives, yes, you should talk to them about why their beliefs are literally harmful. They will listen to people who look like them and are related to them better than they will others, and from Trump's Saudi Arabia move to Ohio's new abortion bill, to the number of trans people killed this year, uh yeah. You have to let your Trump supporting relatives know that they're wrong and convince them not to vote for him again in 2020. Wear glitter and a crown to the dinner table while you're at it.
6. Keep your people on speed dial
If you do go home for the holidays and have to engage with any haters or homophobic baby-boomers, make a pact with a friend. They call you when shit gets weird and you call them. Text back and forth under the dinner table mocking straight folks' fashion. Everyone will be too wine drunk to notice.
7. Set a day of self-care for yourself
Love youself, bitch! If you survived the trip home to your blood relatives for the holidays, please book yourself a spa date for when you get home. You know, your real home with your queer AF friends. P.S. You're totally allowed to scam money from relatives over the Christmas dinner table. Use it to buy yourself a massage!
