The New 'Resident Evil' Villain Is a Tall, Mean Mommy & We're Gagging

At their Resident Evil Village Showcase, Capcom revealed that the big bad for their upcoming installment of the classic horror video game series is an eight-foot tall vampire who owns her very own castle and has knives for fingers. As soon as I saw her, I knew I was done for—and so did the rest of Lesbian Twitter™.

Lady Dimitrescu, also known as Tall Vampire Lady, is shown in new footage and images towering over everyone else in the game, including your character. She’s got pale skin, sharp teeth, and an even sharper outfit. Plus she’s got three shorter (but still sexy) evil vampire daughters who are ready to tear your throat out with their teeth.

The truest thing a lesbian knows is that there is nothing hotter than a tall woman. And when she’s also a murderous monster who can kill anyone she wants, that makes her even hotter. When you make her a Mommy, it’s over. That’s as hot as it gets.

Of course, queer women, nonbinary people, and others have been going absolutely batshit for Tall Vampire Lady ever since she was announced. It seems like everyone on Twitter wants to date her, be murdered by her, or both.

One absolute highlight comes from writer, TV personality, and gamer, Aoife Wilson, who took part in a "Let’s Play a Demo" stream of the game for the Eurogamer YouTube channel. When she was first being chased by one of Lady Dimitrescu’s daughters, Wilson was freaking out, shouting, "No thanks! No thank you! No ma’am!" But as soon as the game showed the vampire up close with the player’s blood all over her mouth, she quickly changed her tune, saying, "Actually, I’m kind of okay with it."

Next, she comes face-to-face with the Tall Vampire Lady herself. Wilson initially was scared when Dimitrescu burst through the door (bending down because she’s so tall), but once she got a better look at her, she shouted, "Oh! Ma’am!" as the monstrous Mommy grabbed her by the throat.

"Just a little tighter," she said right as Dimitrescu extended her finger knives and stabbed the player right in the face. It’s every girl’s dream meet-cute!

Until the game comes out, Lady Dimitrescu will have to live in our dreams (or nightmares?) where she can choke us, stab us, and step on us all she wants.