A Queer Nerd's Guide to Conventions

A Queer Nerd's Guide to Conventions

Nerd is in, and the grand mecca of nerdom is the Convention scene! Now a days you can find a convention for just about everything, from UFOs to RuPaul's Drag Race, from massive, week-long events like San Diego Comic Con to small town, one-day library cons. 

Whether you've never been to a con, or just need to brush up before hitting the summer con season, this guide will help you pick a con, plan your trip, and let you know what to expect!

Finding a con

There are LOTS of cons now days. Nearly every major metropolitan is going to have at least one, and most large cities have multiple. Some are small, intimate affairs where you sit in a room with a bunch of nerds in costumes singing Klingon blood chants. Some are massive events taking up several city blocks where you can get a chance to see your favorite superhero with your own, actual eyeballs. Most fall somewhere in between. Nowadays, most big "comic cons" tend to be general nerd fests, but some still stay true to their hardcore, comic-only roots. And then you’ve got anime cons, fandom specific cons, sci-fi cons, furry cons...there’s something out there for every kind of nerd! (Check out our list of queer cons here!)

To find a convention that interests you, start by Googling for cons in your area and seeing what pops up. Once you find a one you’d like to attend, poke around on the website and social media to get a feel for the mood of the con and to see if you’ll mesh. Every con has a different vibe! Smaller cons can be better for a more intimate experience with more variety of actives, but can be limited by what they can put on. Bigs cons can be like nerdy Disneyland with endless fun to be had and stars to see, but can be expensive and crowded. Either way, it’s going to be an experience to remember!

Location, location, location!

If you are going to a local con, you already have a heads up on this one (and you might not even need a hotel!), but let’s assume your dream con is taking place a few towns over and you’re starting in a totally new place.

First you’ll need a place to stay. Cons often offer special deals with the hotel they’re in or the hotels in their surrounding locations. It’s always worth checking out, and there’s something both fun—and crazy convenient—about staying just up stairs at a con (though prepare for a wait for that elevator.) However, at lot of cons are usually in pretty snazzy places, so if you want to save some cash, hit up other local hotels or check Airbnb (make sure to check the reviews!). A lot of places you’ll stay will have a space to store and prep light meals, so don’t under estimate the value of a trip to the super market beforehand to grab some sandwich supplies!

Along with hotels, you’ll also want to check out the lay of the land. Convention Center food is usually terrible and overpriced, so check for nearby food and markets. Major transportation centers and where they take you are also worth checking for. I once spent a whole con walking miles uphill only to learn there was a free shuttle that ran every 5 minutes. And I learned this on my last food run of the last day. (Learn from my mistake!!)

You also wanna check out the maps of the con, usually given when you grab your badge, and/or online. Bigger cons even have their own apps now! Nothing sucks more than finding out that you are supposed to be on stage in 20 minutes, two miles uphill in LA, with 2 suitcases, having to wade through the crowd of Michael Jackson’s funeral. (True story.)

Cosplay

Nowadays, cosplay can run the gamut from a screened t-shirt from Hot Topic, all the way up to better-than-the-movie costume masterpieces. While cosplay isn’t required at a con, it can sure be fun, especially if you have a significant other to do your fave couple with or a bunch of friends to loop in to your post-apocolyptic, Sailor Scout group.

If you do want to cosplay, the first thing to do is pick a character! If you have never done it before, go through your closet and see what clothes you already have that might get you halfway there. Many costume stores have cosplay-specific supplies, and eBay will always be there to help you find exactly the right wig, more popular characters, and fully-made costumes. You can even get cosplay-themed patterns from your local craft store! If you want to dive into the deep end of the pool, the internet is full of amazing tutorials, forums, YouTube channels, and more out there to share their years of knowledge and glue gun horror stories. 

THe most important thing is you want to be comfortable in your cosplay. That means wearing shoes that can take 8 hours worth of lines AND dressing up as a character you’re comfortable being all day in a crowded convention room. Will you feel comfortable wearing nothing but your hard-metal bikini in a chilly, air-conditioned panel room? What about in a Grogan costume in a crowded entry line in the middle of July? A test run around the house to make sure that your bikini metal doesn’t dig in anywhere and that the Grogan’s head is easy enough to remove so that you can occasionally breathe is always a good call.

Pack a con kit

This is going to depend on you, your con, and your location, but think long and hard as to what comes with you in your con kit. Because you’re gonna want one. This is what I bring (when I don’t forget it sitting by the door…):

-Cash. Most vendors take credit card, but the one you always need most won’t.

-Hand sanitizers and immune boosters. There are a lot of people in a lot of crowded places. Con Crud isn’t just a horror story, kids.

-Water and a snack. Some cons have water around, but better not to risk it. Granola bars aren’t always the most exciting snack, but better to have one on hand and have the energy to get to the local food joint, then get stuck with a $15 convention hot dog.

-Medication. My wife packs us a "full mental pharmacist" in an old anime tin (guess which one) with all our prescriptions, plus some Tylenol, band-aids, allergy pills, and the like. Make sure not to forget meds you need when packing from home. If you have anxiety, you may want to bring a sleeping mask and headphones in case you need to find a place to decompress. (Make sure you pick a safe place, or have someone to sit with you while you chill out.)

-Phone (and/or camera), a charger, and a charger pack. Charging stations are getting more and more common, but nothing sucks more than being at a con with 3 hours left to go and only 10% battery left.

 -Print organizer. This is some next level con shit, but one of my favorite things to get at cons is art prints, so I bring some form of protectors big enough to hold and protect up to 11x17 prints. (The common size at conventions!)

-Cosplay repair kit. Less important if you’re not cosplaying (thought you’d be surprised). I usually have a little bag with safety pins, Velcro stick-on tabs, needles and thread, small scissors, a glue gun (maybe it’s not THAT small a bag….), bobby pins, touch-up make up...the basics to get anything at least temporarily back in place.

Plan your con

After you get checked-in, it’s always worth it to take 10 minutes or so and check-out what you wanna do. Look through the panels and check-out the map. Make sure you know where everything is, and you communicate your schedule with everyone in your group of friends.

Cons usually have themed areas, panels, and events. Most cons have a dealer’s area where you can buy nerdy goods, and an artist alley, where artists sell handmade wares (my personal favorite place!). Some cons might have gaming areas, kids corners, demonstrations, community areas, maid cafes, libraries, and more!  You’ll also wanna check out the celebrity area if you are planning to get any pics or autographs.

Panels vary drastically con to con, but in addition to panels put on by the con guests, you’ll usually have a wide variety of panels based on the unique skills of the cons attendees. You can run into anything from games, to DIY panels, to intense debates.

The last biggest areas are going to be events! From costume contests to celebrity presentations, every con has a whole different selection and specialties. Most of these will take place in the main events room, sandwiched between opening and closing ceremonies.

Take care of yourself

Con Crud is the cold that tends to hit con goers a day or two after the con. While there’s no perfect way to avoid it while interacting with thousands of people, taking good care of yourself during the con will always help. It may not be the most fun missing out on half a panel to avoid having Wendy’s for the 5th time that weekend, but it is really better in the long run. (Plus, it helps with your mental health, which will always help that other terrible con tag a long, con drama.)

Eat well when you can, making sure you get lots of protein and veggies. Take breaks if you need to. Lots of cons are starting to have quiet rooms, libraries, or some similar quiet chill place to decompress for a few. And even if there isn’t a place set aside for it, most cons will have a grassy clearing or quiet hallways to take a few breaths. They can get very crowded, so have a place in mind!

Sleep well, take at least one shower over the weekend (please), and make sure to hit them vitamins! Most importantly? DRINK WATER.

Stay safe

Pick a meeting place outside the con building in case you and your friends get separated. A fire drill in a strange city is a shitty time to realize your phone is dead and you have no idea where your group got herded out. Me and my gal pals also have a subtle signal to each other for "Get me out of here." which has come in handy more than once.

Respect volunteers, but also stay aware and safe of your environment. There’s lots of people at these events, and while we’re all nerds, you only need to hop on Twitter to see that not all nerds are good people.

Always ask for permission to take a picture of a specific cosplayer. Trust me, being asked for pictures is the best part of cosplaying! They don’t mind at all. That said, make sure to respect everyone’s time and space. Common sense still rules, and a skimpy costumes isn’t an invitation for anything but pictures and admiration. If you luck out and get to ask a question of your favorite fantasy author, don’t take your time at the mic to tell a long, personal story that takes up half the Q&A session.

Oh yeah. And drink water! (I’m not kidding here.)

Make friends

This is the BEST place to socialize! Where else are you going to find another room full of people ALL interested in the effect of Klingon mating rituals in slash fanfics?? Best of all, everyone is as awkward as you, and wearing their fandoms literally on their sleeve.

Many conventions have events specifically for socializing, especially queer-themed cons. Check out the dances and parties offered around the event!

Have fun!

So you read this entire guide, have your bag perfectly packed, your panels all highlighted, costumes perfectly picked, and all your lunch orders already planned out…

…it’s gonna fall apart somewhere.

I once flew halfway across the country for the only panel my favorite Japanese creators have ever done on US soil...only to get there late due to LA traffic. I have never ran so fast in high heels in my life, and it still took bursting in to tears at the door to get let in.

Honestly, that’s half the fun. You meet someone who you end up talking to through that "Disabilities in YA Fiction" panel here, that Pokémon phootoshot goes over and you get to the rave late...be ready and flexible for things to shift. Accepting it before hand and letting it go to the con gods of fate is gonna make your weekend way less stressful.

Now go find a con and party!