20 hairy situations every hairy man understands

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20 hairy situations every hairy man understands

Which head did that hair fall from?

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Are you a bear? An otter? A cub? A hairy gay/bi man who hates identifying as an animal simply because of his surplus of hair? It doesn’t matter. Regardless of how you identify, there are a few problems only furry men experience. Here are 20 hairy situations (pun intended) only fuzzy men know and (sometimes) love.

People think they can rub you

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There's a time and a place, but just because my chest is hairy doesn't mean you can touch it at your leisure.

Being bald but hairy everywhere else

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Thick beard, back hair, and the rest of your body is covered with it, but there's nothing up on top.

Wanting to be smooth

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We all want what we can't have. Shaving, waxing, and everything in between is so much harder to keep up with when you're hairy.

Body heat

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It's just like dogs with fur panting more in the heat than dogs with hair. The more you're covered, the hotter it is.

Being emasculated

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People definitely expect men with hair to be the most masculine in the room, and sometimes that can be a little overwhelming (and a bit annoying.)

Judgment and/or jealousy

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This one is sort of dependent on where you are in life. If you’re like me and got hairy during your teen years when you’re supposed to be a smooth twink, everyone judges you. Once you’re in your mid-twenties and beyond, everyone wishes they had it.

Shedding

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All the time. It’s a part of us. Everywhere you go, you take a little piece
of us. Think of it as a gift.

Finding hair in your mouth

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Which is unpleasant. Flossing with beard hair isn’t exactly sexy or the most
hygienic method.

Snot in beard

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It just happens. There’s not much you can really do about it. Just use a million
tissues.

Finding crumbs in your chest

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How many times have you woken up hungover with popcorn, Cheez-Its, or Doritos in your chest hair? Be honest.

Wiping

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It’s like trying to get peanut butter out of sheep’s wool.

Hygiene in general

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When you have a forest of hair down there, cleansing your body is a lot more
complicated.

Being weirdly fetishized

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Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to hairy men (I’m also attracted to hairless
men). And unlike many racist things men wrongly consider “preferences,” I think this one is legitimate. But some guys get a little too into it. Guys on Grindr ask me for picture of my hairy B-hole daily.