Spoilers for Canada’s Drag Race: Canada vs. The World episode four follow.
Icesis Couture was practically guaranteed a spot in the top three of Canada’s Drag Race: Canada vs. The World. The Canada’s Drag Race season two winner had consistently brought it both on the runway and in the challenges, then suddenly she announced through tears that she was leaving the show.
It was a shocker both to the fellow contestants and to the audience as it seemingly came out of nowhere. “It’s just too much for me. I’m just so tired. There’s just so much going on with me, personally. I’m trying to keep up, but I don’t want to anymore,” she confessed to her fellow contestants in between tears. Adding that she “jumped back into it too soon” after her season two win.
Now Icesis is opening up (a bit) on social media about why she made that choice. “This is definitely a hard one for me, and it has taken me a couple of days to absorb and gather my thoughts after the latest episode,” she began. “Honestly, I don't know if I'm totally there, or ever will be, but what I do know is that I am surrounded by the most beautifully amazing people. You have all showered me in love, safety, compassion and understanding. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for helping me through this difficult time; without you, this moment would have been completely different and for that, I'm forever grateful.”
Courtesy of World of Wonder
She went on to say that she knows the question everyone has is why she left so abruptly. “A lot that went on before filming, during filming and after filming. A lot of both personal and professional things happened during this time that I currently cannot discuss, and frankly, am not ready to discuss. All of which led me to my decision to leave the competition,” she explained, promising more details in the future. “ Someday I will share my full story on what actually happened, but for now, what I can say is that moving forward I will always choose my well-being (both mental and physical) before anything else, and always surround myself with people and situations that are only positive that enrich my life[.]”
For now, Icesis is just focused on moving on. ‘My life's journey is a complicated one, and it's one that I continue to work on every single day and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I push forward because I have to, I push forward cause I want to. I encourage you all to always push forward, forward with me to a brighter day because for every bad day, there is an even better one waiting for you just around the corner.
Thank you all for welcoming me back into your homes,” she wrote.
She concluded by expressing her gratitude for all the support from her fans. “I love you all so much and together we can get through anything. Never give up, push forward and always remember that it's okay to not be okay.”
Icesis opened up further while hosting a watch party for Episode 4 at Roscoe’s on Dec. 9, sharing that she participated in the show despite doctor's orders following a broken leg, in part because she spent $70,000 on her runway looks.
“I wasn’t in the best mindset going in there to begin with,” Icesis said. “I was on the tour and I had to leave the tour early because I ended up breaking my leg. To be completely honest, I spent like $70,000 on the show, and the doctors didn’t want me to go on the show and wanted me to cancel everything. ... I just convinced myself I was going to do it and I would be OK to do it. I think that part just fucked with me. It’s really hard to pretend like you’re OK when you’re really not.”
The stress of being on the show was also overwhelming. Everyone was so amazing on that show, and everyone is so happy all the time, so me pretending like I’m OK when I’m really not just got to me. And the pressure of being on the show, the mental warfare that it takes to just literally go through the show while being secluded and I’m not allowed to talk to anybody. It was just a lot.”
Another major factor she revealed, was that things were happening behind the scenes with production. “There’s a lot of stuff that happened with production that I don’t necessarily agree with, not only with me but with other people. I just got to a point with the show where I was just like, ‘I don’t agree with what’s happening here. I don’t agree with what you guys are doing to me. I don’t agree with the way that I feel. I think it’s just my time to go.’”
As for whether she would ever return for anAll Winners season Icesis shut that down — for now. “Right now, the answer is no,” she said. “Not because I don’t think I could do it or I’m not capable. I just think there’s a lot of things that need to be changed in the way that Drag Race is produced. I just don’t think it’s a healthy environment, and if it’s my decision to go back, then my decision is just to not engage with people who are not beneficial to my life.”
Icesis is of Salvadoran and French Canadian descent.
Icesis Couture is Kimmy Couture’s drag mother.
Ottawa, Canada.
