20 essential self-care tips for sex
| 01/16/24
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Confidence is key!
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Ready to get down and dirty? We’re happy to hear. But it’s important to take care of yourself and your partner(s), no matter where you go and what you do. So here are our 20 recommended must-have care tips for any couple looking to have sex.
1. Be comfortable in your own skin
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Feeling good in your own skin is a must, and the idea of perfection is overrated. Hit the gym if you want to, but just work toward filling your mind with positive thoughts about the body you come with. Sex is all about confidence, after all, so just own who you are and the skin you're in.
2. Know when to say no
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We all know what it's like to be into someone we meet online and then not so into them when we meet up in person. We also know what it's like to suck it up and go through something we might not want to, but this is about self care, so know when to say no. If you're not into it, bounce.
3. Moisturize
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It's never a bad time to stay moisturized, and dry and itchy skin can make sex uncomfortable. Focus on moisturizing your naughty bits just to keep them fresh and you'll thank yourself for it later.
4. Practice with yourself
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To twist a well-known phrase, if you can't make love to yourself, how in the hell you gonna make love to somebody else? Besides that, there may be things you're interested in trying that you might be nervous to with a partner, and various toys can help bring those fantasies to life so you can be more comfortable when you go into the experience. Don't be afraid to explore with yourself!
5. Know who you're with
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We live in a hookup culture, and I'm not bagging that. I'm also not bagging the idea of anonymous sex here and there, but if you're going to be particularly promiscuous, there's nothing wrong with at least learning a name here and there and having a better idea of the type of people you're interacting with.
6. Wear protection (duh)
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Ha, we weren’t going to let you get too far on this list without this one. Safe-sex protection is a must. Condoms (whether male or female) are key here, so bring plenty. They can even come in handy beyond their intended use.
7. Stay hydrated
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Have you ever felt extremely tired after sex? You were probably dehydrated! Bring plenty of water to drink, and don’t be afraid to share. It’s important for your health.
8. And don't forget to eat!
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Please don’t do the “24 hour starve” to get ready to bottom. You need energy, you need nutrients, and you need those carbs! The last thing you want to do is to pass out during sex. So, eat!
9. Just make sure it's a balanced meal...
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Okay, when we say “eat,” we don’t mean “eat fast food.” That’s just...yuck. Eat healthy. Have a balanced diet. Treat your body nicely, and your body will treat you nicely.
10. Clean yourself up
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This might seem obvious, but people seem to forget, so here it goes: if you’re going to have sex, make sure you’ve showered up. Clean your front and back, use plenty of soap, and make sure you’ve groomed down there. It helps. A lot.
11. Wear comfortable clothing
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Sexy, skimpy clothes are always nice, but it’s important to wear things that won’t feel too stiff. Wear something nice, flexible, and comfortable. Make sure it doesn’t leave red marks; if it does, switch it up!
12. Know your boundaries
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Walk in knowing what you want. What are you comfortable with? What aren’t you comfortable with? Make sure you’re ready to communicate with your partner if something unpleasant or uncomfortable comes up. It’s vital.
13. Buy and use mouthwash
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Lots and lots of reasons to buy mouthwash. For one, it’s more pleasant for kissing. If you’re also doing any oral play—especially around the rear—then you’ll want to use antibacterial mouthwash to clean yourself out afterwards. Definitely recommended.
14. Bring towels
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There’s nothing grosser than being covered in some mixture of fluids, only to figure out you have no way to clean yourself up. Bring towels and clean them when you’re done with fun time. It’ll cut down the worry and the grossness by a ton.
15. And lube
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You’re going to need lube, no matter what. In some situations, it’s absolutely vital. Make sure to grab a sizable container, whether it’s Astroglide or something a bit more premium.
16. Ask about allergies
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Sometimes, partners have dangerous food allergies (nuts, seafood, soy, just to name a few). You should always ask your partner if they’re allergic to certain foods, and you should avoid eating any of those foods when you’re with them. Make sure to bring up your own allergies, too. Don’t let a makeout session turn into a hospital visit!
17. Be mindful of positioning
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“Wait, can you shift over to your left? No, your other left?” We’ve all been there. Speak up about whether you’re comfortable on the bed, and don’t be afraid to ask your partner to shift over if they’re getting too close to the edge.
18. Aftercare
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Intense sex, like kink, can be stressful afterwards. When you’re done having sex, it’s important to be there for your partner. Cuddle, tell them they did well, feed them treats, give them hugs and kisses, or even take a shower together. It’s a must.
19. Prepare for the weather
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There’s nothing less fun than being naked when the heat won’t raise any higher than 60 degrees in your apartment. Make sure there’s blankets, sheets, even snuggies. Likewise, if you’re doing any warm getaways, make sure you’re ready for the hot weather. Dress loosely and bring lots of water!
20. Make time for sleep
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Both the night before and after sex, get some rest! You’ll need it. Especially if you’re going to start again in the morning.
