The 12 Best Things About Being a Gay/Bi Man
| 08/23/23
ZacharyZane_
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With all the bigotry, homophobia, and overall hatred going on in the world today, we often forget that being a gay or bisexual man is f*cking awesome. There are perks, privileges, and little blessings that only come from identifying as queer. So in case you need the reminder, here are the 12 best things about being a gay/bisexual man!
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We know who we are. We know what we like. We know how to show up, show out, represent, and all the everything in between. Honestly, most gay people probably know themselves way more than straight people do, and we're very proud of our identities.
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Okay, maybe not everyone, but there are plenty of people who look at the gay community in awe of all the awesome things we do. How can we be so fashionable, so knowledgable, and so perfect? It almost isn't fair.
I don’t care what anyone else says, but I love "gay" music. I like pop. I like electronic. I like hip hop. Gay music has the best damn bops out there.
It doesn’t matter where you are, there will always be other gay/bi men. Sure, in some of the more homophobic places around the world the scene is more underground, but no matter where you end up, there will always be other queer men who are open and accepting.
"Who’s the man in the relationship?" Both. Both of the men in the relationship are obviously the men in the relationship. This statement, one we often receive from straight people, illustrates how confined straight people are by traditional gender roles when partnered. Gay/bi men, on the other hand, aren’t limited by gender roles the same way, because it’s TWO MEN dating.
I feel like we have this DOWN, a lot better than straight people. Perhaps we've mastered casual hookups so well that a lot of gay/bi guys are only looking for NSA/casual affairs! (But that's another issue entirely...)
It’s not expected that one of you pays the bill on a date. It’s not assumed that one of you should be making the first move. "Gay dating" doesn’t have all of the "shoulds" that straight dating has.
We know how to have fun (some argue too much fun). I love the fact that you see gay men well into their 50’s at gay bars and clubs. Gay men understand that you’re never too old to have a little fun.
For many femme-identifying men, there is still a pressure within the gay/bi community to appear more masculine. Still, it’s not the same as the pressure for straight men. We can hug and express platonic affection for each other without saying stupid BS like "No homo."
We can bust out the heels, makeup, booty shorts, and crop top any day of the week. I know I get dressed up in some form of elaborate Halloween-type costume at least once a week because, well, why the hell not?
Drag queens are our thing. You don’t see drag performers at straight events, now do you? We’re the ones who get to dress up, perform, and scream from shock while watching RuPaul.
Balls, voguing, throwing shade, reading, and lewks. The list goes on and on. There’s a long history of community, acceptance, and creativity in queer culture. It’s something we should all feel privileged to be a part of.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.
Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.