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The Spendthrift Gay Girls' Personal Bail Out: How to Save Your Pennies

The Spendthrift Gay Girls' Personal Bail Out: How to Save Your Pennies

Here's the scene: it is midnight and you're sweating; you're tossing; you're turning. No, you're not watching reruns of L Word, Season 1; you're losing sleep over that dreaded pile of bills in the kitchen. Well, you can rest assured knowing that there are ways, even in this economy, that you can drastically cut down your monthly expenses, leaving more room to pay off debt and start saving for the future and maybe even to hop on a lesbian cruise.

Here's the scene: it is midnight and you're sweating; you're tossing; you're turning. No, you're not watching reruns of L Word, Season 1; you're losing sleep over that dreaded pile of bills in the kitchen!

Well, you can rest assured knowing that there are ways, even in this economy, that you can drastically cut down your monthly expenses, leaving more room to pay off debt and start saving for the future. It just takes a little planning, some willpower and a smidge of creativity.

The first step is to dig down to the core of your spending. Find out exactly where your hard-earned money is going. It's scary, but it's time to let your statements give you an intervention.

Now, if you are the type of person who rips up statements once they hit your mailbox, there are other ways to retrieve these records. If you can buy a wife online -- which people do --you can print out your statements online. So make sure you have online access to all of your funds. Just about every financial institution offers online services.

Once you have them all scattered in front of you, take a couple of highlighters and mark each necessary purchase in one color and each luxury purchase in another.

Necessities are expenses like rent, utilities, car payment, grocery store shopping and your cell phone. I know some of us may not consider the habitual Saturday night Mixed Martial Arts bout at Hooter's a luxury, but for these purposes, let's just say it is. If you see your favorite restaurant, coffee house, bar or any other local meat-market watering hole in active rotation, mark these as luxuries.

After this exercise, if your luxury highlighter still has any ink left, stop reading now, you're a super saver! The rest of us are going to learn how to save money without having to U-Haul it with every girl we meet on My Space.

Now it's time to sweat the small stuff. If the monsters in your nightmares morph into a bill-toting postal worker, check out these ways you can calm your fear by minimizing your monthly necessities.

Visit your utility company website for energy saving tips. Between the laundry, the television set and the treadmill that's still plugged in although it's being used as an extra wardrobe, you are bound to find a way to go green while keeping some green in your wallet.

The Southern California Edison Website suggests replacing standard light bulbs with Energy Star qualified CFLs or compact florescent bulbs. These can last up to 10 times longer than standard bulbs and can use up to 75 percent less energy.

Another quick cost cutter is to pick up a couple of extra power strips because you know you'll be going to The Home Depot this weekend anyway. Assemble your entertainment center cords so that you can simply turn off the strip when you're not using it. According to Edison, consumer electronics account for up to 15 percent of a typical household's electricity use. And if the device is plugged in, the meter is running.

Also, when shopping for a new appliance there are two costs to research: the price tag and the actual cost to keep the thing running once you get it home. Sometimes saving a little up front will cost you in the long term.

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Look for items with the Energy Star logo. Although they may be more expensive, these appliances operate using up to 50 percent less energy than standard models. With the help of this government program, Americans saved $16 billion in utility bills and reduced greenhouse gas emissions by the equivalent of 27 million cars in 2007.

And for my homeowners out there, the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 enacted tax credits for energy efficient home improvements. Check out www.energystar.gov to see if you qualify.

Okay, let's talk about cable. Why not let the power lesbians pay for cable while you sit back and enjoy the party? There is nothing more fun than cramming on the couch with your fellow penny-pinching pals every Sunday to drool over your favorite L Word character.

You can save money on your cable bill by downgrading to basic or, dare I say, canceling it altogether! Do that and you may even find time away from the tube to sculpt the Dinah Shore silhouette you've been too busy to start chiseling.

Although dining out is a tasty timesaver, it comes at a tremendous cost. You may have realized this during your statement intervention earlier. You can certainly make an immediate impact on your finances and your "waste" line by cooking more at home and packing your lunches. You don't have to be a celebrity chef to crank out 30 minute meals and you don't have to be a mathematician to calculate the savings.

Another way to cut food costs is to avoid the vending machines at work. If you are notorious for the old afternoon soda and chip pick-me-up, buy your sodas and snacks at a bulk food store and save your change.

It may just be a couple of dollars a day but if you spend two dollars every work day in a year, that's over $500 on snacks! You can take a vacation, pay down a credit card or buy a nice espresso machine and become your own barista. If you cut out even two Starbucks runs per week, you can save over $300 a year!

Now I know how important it is for us to send pictures of ourselves and random strangers to our friends while we're stuck in traffic, but both your wallet and the reluctant recipients would appreciate a break from the unnecessary cell phone extras. Although picture mail, mobile internet and downloading a different ring tone to capture the musical essence of each caller is fun, these are costly luxuries.

Although necessities like rent, mortgage and car payments are often difficult expenses to minimize without refinancing loans or packing another roommate into an already crowded house, you can see that there are ways to drastically cut down your monthly expenses. Follow these guidelines, do some research of your own and transfer the savings into an interest bearing account! Who knows, maybe you'll bail yourself out of debt prison.

 

30 Years of Out100Out / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

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Jessica Sattler